My Life As A MoM Over 40

It is 2 am ... what are you doing?

2011-01-16T05:18:00.000-08:00

I've been contemplating my return to blogging. I have so much to write about, I don't know where I should start ... or should I just forget the last 6 months and start the new year fresh? I have a need to purge the last 6 months from my brain. I think if I could get it all recorded, I would feel much better about the chaos that has been my life lately. I really hate this feeling.

So, here I sit ... it's now 2:42am ... and I can't decide where to start writing.

I've been reading blogs daily and commenting occasionally but I can't seem to start back to the habit of blogging. I've been giving serious thought to quitting ... there have been several of my blog friends who have done just that. One not only quit, but she took down her blog entirely and has vanished from the blog world. Others say they are just taking a break.

But mostly the bloggers who are quitting are doing so because of the time it takes away from their families ... if I went back over my blog roll I think the total number would be 7 who have quit.

I started reading blogs back in 2008. A friend had told me about a community of moms online who were supporting each other and that there was a group of women with twins. After some investigation I found blogs.

I can't tell you what a relief it was to find other mothers of multiples who were having the same issues that I was ... I wasn't crazy ... it was a freaking assload of work that no normal human could do.

My new Texas neighbors couldn't seem to understand why I didn't just jump right in to the moms groups and attend all the play dates ... ALL of them had ONE small child and their other was in preschool in the morning ... I had TWO 1 year olds and a 2 year old ... my day was filled with diapering 3 kids, making meals, and doing laundry ... I was still dealing the lingering effects of PPD ... I couldn't imagine how I could squeeze in a play date.

The final straw came one day when my neighbor told me how much work her (one) newborn was ... I asked her how she was dealing with her 2 year old and she told me that she enrolled her in preschool ... 3 days a week for 7 hours a day !!! She is a stay at home mom ... she is not working outside the home. I still can't figure out why she was unable to deal with 2 kids.

But it was that final straw that had me checking out blogs ... I needed a reality check from other moms who were like me ... and I found many !!!

My friendships with all the fantastic bloggers who I've followed is something I've decided I want to continue ... and to do that I need to participate.

I'll never be the prolific writer that some are ... I don't want to write a book. But I would dearly love to have a written history of all the craziness that we moms experience. I'm going to love reading back on all the things we did as a family once the kids are grown.

The kids are growing so quickly I don't want to miss time with them by blogging ... but I do want to have this written history ... and I do want to do something for me that I know with certainty I will enjoy reading years from now.

After 10 years of marriage our first child was born ... 15 months later came the twins. Our lives went from 0-60 mph in a heartbeat. One year my oldest will start driving ... then the next year the twins. One year my oldest will graduate ... and the next year the twins ...

And, our lives will go from 60-0 ... I'm hoping it will not be that abruptly but I'm fearing it will be ... hopefully we will be so old by then it will be welcomed ... but I doubt it ... my kids are 5, 4, & 4 and I'm already anticipating an empty nest ...yikes.

Any whooo ... I'm back to blogging. My goal is to do one post per week.

I will end this by saying ... Thanks again for all the support.

We are in our new home that we are currently calling "The Money Pitt" ... or on a bad day "The Arm Pitt" . Y'all may be interested to know that I'm still a moron ... it took me about a month to get the fact that I'm living amongst the women from the TV show "The Real Housewives of Orange County". We, of course, live "outside the gates" of Coto De Caza ... but they leak out of the gates and we stumble upon the beautiful people shopping at Vons in their limos.

If I had balls, I'd whip out my phone, take some pics, and post them here. I was itching to do that the other day in Starbucks ... but I love Starbucks and I wanted to be able to return another day.

I can't decide if I'm a slob who thinks it's fine to run to the grocery store in my paint splattered hair and face, ripped jeans, and no makeup or if "they" are ridiculous for going in their heels, face paint, coiffed hair, and limos.

Again ... if I had balls ... I'd ask their houseboy to put down the groceries and snap a photo of us side by side ... ya' know ... in the interest of blog fodder.

Okay ... I'm done ...  y'all ... like totally awesome dude (in case you don't get it ... that's a mix of ex-Texan and Californian) :))

So ... yippee for me ... I'm still a blogger.

Excuse Me Whilst I Bore You With The Details Of My Life

2010-08-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

Anybody notice I've been gone?

My blog is supposed to be the journal of my insane life ... I'm not doing such a great job with the "blog" part, hopefully the "mom" part is measuring up ... but really, I fear the "insane" part is getting the upper hand.

I think I'm still patting myself on the back for having 3 kids under the age of 2 for 9 months and living to talk about it. I'm using that as an excuse to explain why my life still seems out of control ... I've never been able to catch up. Just as I seem to be getting the upper hand, the whole situation seems to change. (Could I use the word "seem" more in one paragraph? Seems I need me a thesaurus).

Just as I was starting to think I could manage  ... there was the whole move from California to Texas thing ... with a 2 year old and TWO 1 year olds ... I can't tell you how much fun it was to take that drive.

That first month in Texas forever clouded my view of life there and pretty much made me HATE Texas. The drive, the first month there in an apartment, the constant freezing rain that first month.

And yes, I'm going to continue on ...

Every friggin time I left the apartment to run an errand I had to load up the double stroller with kids and baby gear, then I'd get to the car unload everything ... IN THE EFFING COLD RAIN ... and I would always forget something ... forgetting something means getting everyone out of their car seats and back in the stroller for a trip back to the apartment ... IN THE EFFING COLD RAIN ... then back to the car ... AGAIN. Then repeat again once we got to the destination (usually the grocery store) ... pull the double stroller and a shopping cart through the store ... try to smile at everyone who wants to stop you just to tell you ... "They are such a blessing" or "You really have your hands full" ... when what you really want to say is "Shut up ... you're an idiot ... I didn't say they weren't a blessing ... but this is really hard and if you don't get your smiling face out of here, I'm going to punch it" ...

So you get the drift ... that first month was awful.

But then we moved in to our new house and things continued to spiral out of control. We moved into the house January 2, 2008. The day was cold (what else?). The kids and hubby had to stay locked in the master bedroom with a space heater to keep them all warm because the front door had to remain open while the movers brought our stuff in.

Such fun stories to remember for later ... and yes the saga continues ...

I spent much of that January trying to unpack. February finally got here and the house was still clogged with boxes of crap and after 6 weeks in the house, I cried UNCLE and we hauled everything to a storage facility. I could no longer stand it. The boxes were a constant reminder of all the stuff I couldn't get done ... but really, if we had managed to exist without that "stuff" for over 2 months, did we need it?   (For the record, it turns out we did not. When I started my "2010 Purge" in January, almost every item, in every box, was either tossed or donated. But we paid storage on the crap for almost 2 years. Hopefully that is a lesson learned).

Then, amidst all the chaos, a bit of hope appeared ... all the kiddos started to nap at the same time.

There I was one morning, just trying to get through my day, when it hit me that the twins were making it until lunch without a nap ... OH MY GOD !! I thought ... could I possibly get them all to nap at the same time? I tried not to think about it too much ... I was afraid that it would go away ... but there they all were happily eating lunch. So at noon I took everyone upstairs placed them all in their cribs, turned on their music, closed the doors, went downstairs ... and waited ... and listened to the baby monitors ...

Within 10 minutes .... EVERYONE WAS ASLEEP. I can still remember the feeling ... total paralysis ... I was afraid that if I even breathed that the moment would go away.

But above everything else ... I didn't know what to do with myself. I had so many things that needed to be done that I couldn't decide what to do.  Finally, I determined what I needed the most was rest. I sat on the couch ... curled in the corner in my usual position ... and I truly could not remember the last time I'd done that ... it was such a relief to get off of my feet. There had been many days that I'd sit on the bed at night and it would occur to me that I hadn't sat down the entire day.

I grabbed the remote for the TV and decided to watch something on the DVR that I had recorded. I turned it on softly ... I kept having to strain to hear ... but there was no way I was going to chance waking the kids.

I can distinctly remember being annoyed at one point that the rain and the thunder were louder than the TV and it was really annoying to have to try to hear over it ... then I heard a noise ... what the heck is that ???

I got up to figure out what it was ... it sounded like it was outside ... okay, emergency vehicle ... only ... maybe not ... it sounded a little strange ... like when I went to live in England and noticed that phones rang differently and the emergency vehicles sound different ...

I opened the back door ... and it suddenly hit me ... TORNADO SIRENS. I raced to the TV ... signal is out ... I turned on the radio and this is what I hear, "If you live in XYZ you should be sheltering immediately ... this is a fast moving storm ... you need to be in an interior room .... blah blah blah... "

All I could think about was, OMG that's us ... where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do?

You see, my husband and his father had me convinced that my research on this area was wrong. I had asked about being in "Tornado Alley" and what exactly it meant. How do we prepare? What do we do? And, I was told by both of them that it was mostly the insurance companies trying to get more money out of people living in the area.

So there I was, mentally running around trying to figure out what to do first. The room that was center most in the house was our guest bath. I ran to the stairs, over the baby gate, scooped up one sleeping kid, then the second ... ok now what? Arms full of two crying, disoriented babies, and I still have a third kid sleeping.

Can I leave the third kid upstairs while I take the other two down to safety? What if the tornado hits the house, the two I took to safety downstairs make it, but the one I left upstairs for the second trip doesn't make it? Will the two in the downstairs bathroom be ok while I leave them alone to get the third?

This was all happening in seconds but somewhere in all this I had time to make a call to my husband that went something like this ... " The tornado sirens are going off ... what the heck am I supposed to do? You are a stupid idiot. I'll never listen to you again" ... ahem ... something like that. I'm not sure of the exact words. I know I was crying in frustration and yelling at him and I hung up on him.

Afterwards, I made a mental note to myself ... Never, never let someone convince me to be unprepared for an emergency. I'm the queen of being prepared. I grew up in California. It is drilled into our heads to be prepared to exist for 3 days without help of any kind. We live in an area where natural disasters are likely to happen ... be prepared. (I've always wondered why the folks in Louisiana were never given the same advice and warnings).

This was my first 2-1/2 months in Texas. If you add to this the fact that my cars navigation system didn't work properly there, you can see my constant frustration with that state. The addition of being lost over and over again, with kids in the car, was not endearing me to Texas.

I didn't care what went wrong ... I figured out a way to blame Texas. If nothing else I can be totally pissed off at the stupid Tornado Sirens ruining my first moment of relaxation since October of 2006 by waking up my kids. The whining and crying lasted for hours ... mine and the kiddos.

I figure this is enough for one post.   I'll just tell you that my first two months back in California are comparable to what my first two months in Texas were like ... only minus all the stuff in boxes (that's all in storage ... it includes the majority of my clothing ... for some reason I thought that I would only need 6 Fourth of July printed t-shirts ... 4 black in the same pattern, 1 blue, and 1 red ... a few pairs of shorts, lots of underwear (?), and 1 bra) and the kids whine differently now that they are 2 years older. One actually had the nerve at one point to let me know they hadn't eaten a single vegetable for over a week ... I wanted so badly to point out that they had fries at least twice and for now that counts as a vegetable.

Oh and there is the total frustration of losing TWO posts about moving to California

Stay tuned ... for those of you who actually care anymore about what happens to me ... I am actually putting the finishing touches on a post about my first two months in California.

And, in case you would want to know ... it seems like we sold our house in Texas on Monday. If we can find a new residence before the end of the year, we will have moved FOUR times since July 2nd.

Now ... is there anyone left who is still wondering why I haven't been blogging????

I think the better question is ... Can I get any of my readers back? or has everyone finally given up on me?

I have been reading everyone's blogs and enjoying all the great posts. Sorry to be so absent with the comments.

At this point, I'll stop promising to be a better blogger ... I've broken too many blog commitments this past 4 months. I'll just say that I really like the blogging community and all the friends I've made the past year. I really appreciate all the support from everyone.

If You Were My Sister

2010-07-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

This is the type of communication you would receive from me in the form of a text ... if you were my sister ...

Me (7/28 10:50 am) Funny bumper sticker I saw "It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do" HA HA HA

Answer from my THREE sisters ?

Terri (7/28 1:37 pm) :)

I have two older sisters. Terri is between me and the oldest. She is "dog trainer extraordinaire". She found our newest family addition for us ... an 18 month old australian shepherd, Joey, whom we love dearly. She has his sister and brother ... Susie and Shooter.

After a day to think, I text her back (I've had time to think about the lack of communication .... and I'm going to make them wish they had responded)

Me (7/29 1:35pm) FYI Joey poops more than any other dog in the history of the world ... going to rename him "Shitter"

Me ( 7/29 1:38 pm) If I were to give him back to u ... u could say to people "Hi this is my dog "Shooter" and this is his brother "Shitter" :P

This ends my revenge on Terri ... my sisters always cringe when I start the potty talk ...

Now on to my oldest sister Robbi ... She didn't respond at all ... not even a smiley face. So ...

Me (7/29 4:22 pm) We r @ pool & kids had 2 use potty ... when I pulled up jacks wet pants his feet came up & his head went in the toilet

Robbi (7/29 4:24pm) LoL

Okay ... it really sucks when you have such good lines and no good responses. Personally I've been laughing about the head in the toilet for the past 2 hours. Thank God I had already flushed the toilet. I did keep telling him to practice holding his breath under the water when we got back to the pool ... hoping to get the cooties out of his hair.

I know everyone comes to my blog for the really highbrow stuff ... so I thought I should deliver.

WARNING Ear Worm Ahead

2010-07-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

This is a must read ... it is both funny and clever ... and every mom of multiples will get a big kick out of this because it is soooo very true ... Enjoy!!!

Ironic

I promise a California update soon. We are here and really enjoying the beautiful weather. However, I'm having a plethora of computer issues. This post is an attempt at posting again to test the waters of my computer.

A post I'm working on: "The Bitch and the Ass" a cross country travel adventure with 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a mother.

Another exciting title: "The Apartment" life in 900 square feet with 3 loud kids, 2 large dogs, 2 adults, and some very quiet neighbors.

So here is my attempt to get back to the blogging world that I love. I've been reading everyones posts ... I've just had issues with being able to comment ... I still don't know why ... but the computer guy says he can help me out.

Moving Update

2010-06-26T03:57:00.001-07:00

I thought I owed everyone an update about now ....

My last post about moving was on May 31st. At that time we knew there was about a 90% chance that we would be moving back to California but I was afraid to talk about it too much ... afraid it might not happen. California is the place I call home ... the place I have spent all but 2 years of my life ... it seemed too good to be true. So I waited until we had an offer in hand and a new start date. That happened around June 7th and the new start date is JULY 5th ...

So everything has been kicked in to high gear here. The packers are here Monday. This will mean that we will have no refrigerator, no washer & dryer, no TV's until we get to California on July 4th.

The "For Sale" sign went out in our yard last Friday. I can't tell you how much fun it is to keep the house in order while I'm trying to organize this move. And it irks me to no end the amount of time I spend each day cleaning only to have no one show up to see the house.

The thing that is presenting the biggest challenge is ... where will we live? When we first get to California we will be in "Corporate Housing". This will be a 3 bedroom, 3 bath apartment that is about 900 square feet ... with 3 kids, 2 adults, and two medium size dogs. The up side? Not much cleaning. The down side? We can stay there as long as needed until we buy a house ... for $146.00 PER DAY !!! The company pays for the first 30 days.

Our situation is this ... We own a house about 2 miles from the apartment but our renter in that house has a lease that is not over until August 31st. He has been a HUGE pain in the ass since day 1. We offered him a multi thousand dollar incentive to get out early but he won't even return a phone call.

So we are stuck with moving at least 3 times ... probably 4. First, from Texas to an apartment. Second, 30 days later to another location (not determined yet). Third, to our house sometime after September 1st (we don't know what condition the renter will leave the house in so we can't plan to move right in). Fourth (and hopefully last) to a final house we decide to purchase and live in.

Just typing that is overwhelming. The only thing that will save us from all the moves is if we sell our house in Texas fast. We have priced it aggressively ... we are going to lose money ... it's really just a matter of how much at this point. The house hunting in California can't even start until we know how much equity will be remaining after the sale.

So that is basically the long and short of it at this point. Our scrambling here is now about making decisions on what we will need for the next 6 months and what will go to storage ... we may not see our belongings for that long.

I figure if we are really lucky we will be in a permanent residence by Christmas.

On a really good note ... we will be just minutes from most of my family ... something that hasn't been the case since 1998.

On another really good note ... my mother dropped everything and flew here to help out. I'm sure the kids and I are driving her nuts ... not to mention the heat (it's been almost 100 degrees every day since the beginning of June and she really dislikes the heat). As much as anyone loves their grand kids, the noise level of 3 small kids is a bit much to take. And, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't mention that I'm a real pain in the ass. I don't much care for anyone telling me at 48 years old how to raise my kids.

So ... at the start of the 4th of July weekend .... if you see a caravan along Interstate 40 with the drivers and passengers whooping and hollering and barking ... give us a wave. I'm sure I'll be chucking out anything that reminds me of Texas along the way and I'm also sure I'll be singing "California Here I Come ... right back where I started from ..." until my family hits me over the head for being so obnoxious ...

My next post will be from California ... I'll be leaving behind yucky weather and tornados for sunshine and earthquakes ... and I couldn't be happier ....

Proof That I Act Juvenile Despite My Age

2010-06-03T02:38:00.004-07:00

In a journal titled "This Could Only Happen To Me" I will post the following entry...

Yesterday I called my doctor for a referral. We were both of the opinion that I should see a specialist because of past issues.

When she mentions the doctor's name, I have a small chuckle to myself because surely I've heard it incorrectly... I proceed on because really ... who can be sure of anything with 3 kids in the background who insist on screaming or fighting the moment I pick up the phone ... and they fight about the stupidest things. This time it's about a puzzle ... like there's not a gazillion of those in the house. Why can't they fight about something of substance? For instance ... they could fight about why a certain someone can't seem to get the wet, dirty towels, IN TO the laundry basket instead of on the floor beside it...

Where was I ? Oh yes ... the doctors name

After she gives me the phone number, I hang up and call the new doctor ...

"Hello, Mid Cities Obstetrics and Gynecology" says the nice voice, "May I help you?".

"Yes, I'd like to make an appointment",

The pleasant woman proceeds to make my appointment and get all the particulars. At the end of the call I say,

"Would you please give me the spelling of the doctors name?"

There was a slight pause before she says ....

"L.i.c.k.e.r."

I'm sorry, I know it's juvenile, but there is no way on earth that I could keep a straight face during that appointment. I'll be calling to cancel today.

Bettcha thought I'd never post again ...

2010-05-31T03:39:00.005-07:00

So onward we go ... I have been needing inspiration to spend some time here ... I've been consumed with moving, purging, sorting, end of school year, Mother's Day, brothers wedding, my birthday, daughter's birthday, trip to Houston, catching up on medical visits before we move ... and that's not all....

Literally, the day my last post went up, we got word to "stand down" from our move to Guam. So, after 10 days of intense gearing up for my husband to leave the country, we are told we are not going ... yet. The job will not be fully staffed for many months instead of immediately.

So .. what now? This job in Texas is over at the end of June. After two weeks, of decision making by "the company", it is decided that we will not be needed in Guam after all. Our families are more happy than I can even tell you ... personally, I think their prayers were answered ... there were just too many people wanting this not to happen.

But in the mean time there have been some other interesting things going on.

It turns out that a new fav blogger friend lives right here in my town ... not only are we close to the same age but our kids are too. I've never asked if she would be interested in meeting because, of course, we are moving ... and I would really hate to meet, find out we have a lot in common, have our kids really hit it off ... and then never see them again. So we've never done more than exchange comments on each other's blogs and a few emails giving each other tips and insights about local happenings.

Then last week she does a post about her daughters last day of school and how emotional she was ... and I think to myself, "Wow her preschool sounds a lot like ours" ... welllllll ...

Not only were our kids attending the same preschool ... BUT THEY WERE IN CLASSROOMS RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER ... !!! And, my friend was teaching that class.

Sooo ... how many times did we see each other in the hall ... maybe exchange a "Hello" as we were dropping off our kids. I frequently work the carpool lane ... how many times did I greet her and her daughter and then escort her daughter to class???

I'm around the school a lot ... I have 3 kids there plus I was a room parent.

This is definitely a missed opportunity for me. I hope I take this as a lesson to act. I should have immediately asked her if she would be interested in getting our kids together for a play date ... but I didn't.

Note to self ... "Stop being an idiot!!!"

(I'm not mentioning who she is for a reason ... so please don't ask.)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And, on another note ... I want to say thank you to Angela at Friesen Funny Farm for this post today A Letter To Our House

We are in the process of looking for a house in our new location ...

I was just telling my husband two days ago that I didn't want to look at resale homes because after having 3 kids and two dogs it just "grosses me out". Between the dog barf, kid barf, dog urine, kid urine, milk spills, bare butts on the carpet (dogs and kids), dropped dingle berries, boogers, sneezes, etc, etc, etc ... it's just too disgusting to contemplate living where someone elses family has been who may not have been as diligent as I am (and by that I mean someone who does not have an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness .. in other words ... a normal person).

Now I've completely changed my mind. I never considered that aspect. How great would it be to be in a home so well loved by the previous family?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And, lastly, a huge and grateful THANK YOU to all the military families ...

The sacrifices you make daily for our safety and our country do not go unappreciated by this family.

Merri Ann

Fish Pants

2010-04-22T03:19:00.005-07:00

My husband and I are about to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary ... apart. He will be in Guam walking and running on the beach, swimming, enjoying the beautiful weather, enjoying the peace and quiet only a parent with 3 kids under the age of 4 can imagine ... in short he will be living the life of a bachelor for about a month. He won't be asked to wipe noses and bums, to take out the garbage, to pick up milk or get dinner on his way home. Instead he will have his room cleaned and bed made daily, meals will be special ordered to be exactly to his liking, and all his non-working time will be quiet time ...

I think he will owe me big time when he returns ... like new diamonds sorta big time. Right before our 10th anniversary he pulled off his diving glove and his wedding ring sailed into the air and plopped into the ocean ... never to be seen again. Luckily for him I was there to witness said event.

This was good for me because I never liked his first wedding band ... now he has a great one. He commented back then that he wanted me to get a new one too or to at least redesign mine. I was about to have our first child and put it off until later.

Well "later" is "now" !! ... I want me some new diamonds ... I'll be working on that while he's gone ... in my spare time.

* * * * * * * * * *

Ok on to the fish pants ..

To get the full effect you need to know that my husband is 6'4". At some point he decided that elastic waist pants with wild patterns were going to be his new uniform and he set about purchasing every horrid pattern in existence. I soon came to understand that the more awful a particular pair were ... the MORE likely he was to wear them. So I learned to keep my opinions to myself hoping that this phase would pass.

One day he opened a package from some company or other and I was pleasantly surprised to see a pair of pants in a blue and white batik pattern. "Those aren't too bad", I thought. He drops trow and slips them on ... they were too short. The pants stopped at the top of his ankle ... a good 6 inches off the floor and when I inspected them further, I was shocked into saying, "You can't wear those out ... your junk looks like you are a porn star ... you might as well not be wearing anything".

Well this was his ticket to wear them everywhere we went ... unfortunately I don't have a picture of those pants that I can find. But let me tell you he wore those pants EVERYWHERE!!! Finally, one day, he ripped them ... it was a 90 degree tear that started about 6 inches above the hem, went up to his knee and across about 4 inches ... he had a flap that hung down and just about impeded his walking ... "Just about" being the important words here.

He continued to wear those torn pants until one day our hair stylist confronted him and told him to never wear those pants in her salon again ... it was a great moment that will live in my memory forever.

I'd like to say that this type of dressing is in his past ... but now he has a pair of silky type basketball shorts that he wears without undies ... and when he walks his junk is outlined by the material.

So I feel justified in posting this photo of him in his "Fish Pants" for the world to see. The photo is not the best and I should let everyone know that these pants were (my husband just looked over my shoulder to tell me to change "are" to "were" ... "They're gone", he said in a sad voice) more neon then they look. We were hiking up Mt. Whitney that day and I know that everyone who saw us that day remembers those fish pants.

So here you are ... "The Fish Pants" ....

(Note the matching shirt)

For Better Or For Worse

2010-04-09T02:43:00.004-07:00

So there I was innocently having my morning cup of coffee, reading blogs and news, and my husband walks in ... we restart a conversation from the night before about his job interview in Austin ... it doesn't look good, he's not a perfect match and is probably over qualified ... the pursuit of this assignment is mostly about getting us closer to family in Houston. He tells me that he spoke to the national boss and that guys ending comment was "Well we do have that mega project in Guam" ...

In January of 2006, two days after having two embryos transferred into my perfectly primed body, during a discussion my husband and I were having, he casually says, "Well, what if it's twins" ... I was shocked beyond belief ... I had never considered for a moment that I was pregnant with twins .... I wasn't the first time ... why now? But I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was pregnant with twins. Every fiber of my being was telling me this was so ...

I had that same feeling the moment my husband mentioned Guam.

And that looks like where we are headed.

So much happened yesterday that my head is absolutely reeling. I started the morning excited at this new adventure and then the day ended with sadness for my kids ... they will miss their cousins and grandparents that have been a big part of their life since we moved to Texas two years ago. Jack cried when we left Houston last weekend ... he didn't want to leave. Jamie has cried before too about leaving.

I know that they will adjust, but are we taking something they will never get back ... something I think is important.

But this opportunity is amazing in many ways and if it was just the two of us ... we wouldn't have a doubt. Actually me ... my husband is on board 100% ... he thinks it will be great for the kids. But he was born and raised in Saudi Arabia. His parents shipped him and his siblings, when they each turned 14, back to the States to attend boarding school. They then spent their holidays with various relatives or made their way back to Arabia BY THEMSELVES .... at 14 ...

Obviously he is from heartier stock than I am ... I'm a fairly pampered girl from California who has been around my family my entire life ... I felt a huge separation from my family when I moved from Texas ... I can't imagine how it's going to feel being 6000 miles away.

But I think I'm on board. I'm excited about a totally new way of life. I hope the kids will look back on the experience and say that they loved it. My husband and his family loved living in Arabia and have great memories of the experience.

I have concerns ... will my kids regret being pulled away from the cousins and grandparents? Will our parents live long enough to see us back in the states in a few years so our kids can get reacquainted with them? (We would have been moved away from Texas anyway ... and we would have only been visiting once a year as was our practice before we moved here) ... and will our 13 year old dog make the trip without dying in transit?

Uggghhh ... The start date on this new job is probably going to be June 1. The amount of stuff that needs to be done between now and then is overwhelming. Just the doctors appointments alone that need to be done before we move, to get everyone as up to date as possible, is huge.

Well there it is ... our life right now. I can use any and all suggestions from everyone.

Anyone know anything about Guam?

What's Up ???

2010-03-30T03:12:00.002-07:00

Thanks to all you nice people who have emailed to ask "What's Up? Where are you?"

Life has been a little crazy. Well ... to be honest, life is a little crazy around here most of the time ... we've now just added a little more.

Here are the happenings around here ...

**********

We had word about 10 days ago that my daughters teacher has cancer and will be leaving school this week to get treatment. Her prognosis looks good but we are all working to do things for her that we think she will need help with.

**********

We are still getting the house ready to sell. We finally got word Friday that we did not get the job in Austin. But the folks in Austin asked him to interview for another position. So we are remaining hopeful for an Austin move.

**********

A neighbor of ours has complained to the city that we have an annoying barking dog. We suspect who the person is but we are trying to resolve that, too. For the record ... our dogs are never outside unattended, they are in the house at night and when we are gone. This neighbors problem is kids. They are an older couple who moved in to a 5 bedroom home in a neighborhood filled with kids. They have yelled shut up to my kids when they are playing in the backyard ... I know ... lovely.

**********

Jack is fully potty trained and we are officially a diaper free zone. He has had a total of 3 accidents. Once he was confident he could go without a diaper, he never looked back. After about a week, he refused to wear a pull up at night also.

He is the only one of my three kids who gets up at night to go to the bathroom if needed. Both girls will call me (which I have to admit is rare but still they won't go on their own).

**********

That is about it for now. Hopefully, I'll be back on track after our vacation.

Happy Easter Everyone...

What "Makes My Monday" ?

2010-03-22T02:30:00.001-07:00

Today I'm joining in with Cheryl atTwinfatuation

What Makes My Monday ???

Blooms on our trees ...

Why you ask?

Because our backyard goes from this ...

Ahhhh ... To This ....

and that

Makes My Monday !!!

Hello spring ... It's nice to have you back

This is where my post originally ended when I wrote it on Friday ... while it was 68 degrees ... It's funny how you can sometimes forget that you moved to Alaska. This is what we woke up to Sunday morning

Here's one more ... in case you missed it ...

5.5 INCHES ....

But we got to show daddy how to make a snowman ... and it turns out ... he's pretty good at it ...

So ... happy kids and happy daddy ...

Makes My Monday ...

But wait ... there's more ....

And then daddy and the kiddos went shopping and returned with these ...

How great is that ??

Hope everyone has a good Monday.

Do Your Ears Hang Low? ... Do They Wobble To And Fro?

2010-03-18T03:18:00.007-07:00

Yesterday, I read this post How To Raise Kids Who Love Their Bodies and felt compelled to link to it. Thank you Maryann for giving me permission to do so. I hope everyone who reads this will link to the article as well ... I think it's such an important issue. With so much talk on our blogs about dieting, I'm hoping we can change the discussion a little ... Here's a little of my story ...

One thing that most people don't know about me is that I'm a fanatic about my health. Especially now that I have children.

I have always been an exercise nut. In my late teens and early twenties I was all about Jazzercise. I took multiple classes a week and at least 2 days a week I'd take back to back classes

That eventually changed and I discovered an over 30 women's soccer league. I joined when I was 29 and started my first game just a few weeks after my 30th birthday. To say I love soccer would be an understatement. In those days I started work at noon, but being a morning person, I was up at my usual 4 am. I'd wait until the sun was up, grab my soccer ball and head out to practice on my own. Once I did that, I'd go for a run ... and I'd run until I couldn't anymore ... then run home. At least 5 miles a day.

You get my drift at this point ... I never had a weight issue. I never was on a diet. I was so active I never had to think about my weight.

I had to stop playing soccer (I was about to move and I was having serious knee issues) and immediately started gaining a little weight ... only I didn't really notice. Bike shorts and long, cute t-shirts were what everyone was wearing then (well ... to be honest here ... I was still wearing them ... maybe not everyone else).

About half way through my soccer career, I was advised by my doctor to stop being a vegan. I was negatively affecting my health (that will be a story for another day).

Anyway, over the next few years I was never able to establish a fun way to exercise anymore and it started to become clear that my eating habits were as poor as the rest of my family. They had all been dieters my entire life. I just always thought that I was immune to gaining weight. I somehow never connected it to all my exercise.

So, there I was, 20 lbs over weight with no idea of how to diet. I went into my first pregnancy at 42 with this extra weight ... then 6 months after the birth of my first child ... became pregnant with my twins.

Then before I knew it I was 44 years old, had 3 kids under the age of 2, tired beyond belief, dealing with PPD ... need I go on? My weight was terrible ... and I was not caring ... I just needed to be able to get through a day.

I know this is long ... sorry ....

I've spent the last 4 years trying to get everything under control again so I could concentrate on my health. I am much older than most mom's and I want to see my grandchildren.

The one thing I have discovered is that I had terrible role models in my parents. I'm not trying ... in ANY way to be disrespectful of my parents ... I love them all dearly ... but my dad and step mother are both overweight and have health issues because of it and my mother has always been extremely critical of all of us girls about our weight.

One moment that is burned in to my memory is this ... I was to have dinner with my mom and my siblings after work one night ... I hadn't seen her for awhile and I was looking forward to it. I was late getting off work and when I arrived my family was sitting waiting for me by the entrance ... when I got
close the first words out of my mom's mouth were, "Merri Ann you've always had those big thighs ... I don't know where you got that from ..." I was at the time wearing a size 2 pants, weighed 105 lbs, and was an exercise fanatic.

Now, here I am years later, struggling to set a good example for my children. It's imperative for me. I have 2 daughters ... and it looks like they are going to have two very different body types ... One appears to be more like my side of the family ... the other like my husband's. The reason I mention this is that my husband's family has those genes that make you rail thin your entire life. His mother, aunt, sister ... etc. They are extremely thin ... no matter what they eat.

I don't want to have a daughter that spends her life struggling with weight ....

Or, more importantly, I don't want any of my kids to EVER feel like they need to change their body ... for any reason.

As I sit here, I know that I have issues with my body image ... I'm called "Grandma" more often than "Mom" when out with my kids and I don't even want to tell you what being pregnant with twins at 44 did to my body. Every time I even joke about getting surgery to "fix" any body part ... my husband about has a fit that I would want to change my body (Thank you God for sending him in to my life).

So, here I am today, trying at every opportunity to be the parent I want to be ... waking up every day determined to do better and to be a better role model.

Please read the article at the top of the post. It is without a doubt one of the best things I have read on the subject of body image and what we are projecting to our children.

P.S. For those of you who made it this far and want to know about the title of this post ... I sooo wanted to replace the word "ears" with "breasts" ... I wanted this to be a serious post but I had to put a little something here at the end :))

There ARE People In My Family Who Are Older Than Me

2010-03-17T06:40:00.001-07:00

Reposted from yesterday ....

Note: Today (Wednesday, March 17, 2010) I joined in with Cheryl of Twinfatuation for Wayback Wednesday. This is the first time I've tried this ... I hope it works.

Marianne's Blog Post inspired me to get this post up this morning. We were both thinking along the same lines, at the same time. Thanks for the inspiration, Marianne, to get mine done.

Yesterday, I surprised my family by scanning this old photo I found and emailing it to them. My sister responded by doing the same. We ended up each scanning several photos that most of us have never seen. Here are the photos ... Hope you enjoy them ....

This is my paternal grandparents wedding photo. She is 98 (99 in June) and he passed away before I was born.

My grandmother remarried this man. So my dad was raised around horses. He in turn raised us on a ranch with lots of animals ... mainly horses.

This is my dad and his sister at 3 & 4. They were born 11 months apart.

This is my dad's graduation picture before he entered the navy.

My mom before she married my dad and had 5 kids. She skated for years with the Holiday On Ice show.

Hope y'all enjoyed my old family photos ...

The Boy ...

2010-03-14T03:17:00.003-07:00

My blog is going to need a name change ....

In September of 2009, only 2 in this photo were potty trained. In November, that number increased to 3 (unfortunately, it was a human). February 2010, we discovered that Girl 3 was blaming some urine on the floor on the dog ... so he has been trained longer than we thought ... and Girl 3 not as long as we thought.

Today we decided we are through with diapers ... at almost 3-1/2, the Boy has refused to part with his diapers and my husband and I decided that we were going to force the issue. If we do indeed move, that is only going to delay us having an opportunity to do this. So with spring break this week, here was our chance.

The plan was to start Saturday morning. The night diaper would come off and all the diapers would be removed from the house and we were going for it.

So, we did exactly that ... and there we were at 1 pm and he was still naked ... he was refusing to put on anything other than a diaper and we were standing our ground that he was not getting one.

Oh ... I know what you're thinking ... Where was he using the bathroom? Well ... he has no problem using the potty ... he just doesn't want to be without a diaper.

But finally, he came around ... you see ... the boy loves chocolate ... and he adores his dad. And daddy had just gone to the store with only the girls ... and he had to stay home because he was naked ... And, dad and the girls had returned with chocolate bribes.

When daddy said, "You can have a piece of chocolate if you put on your underwear" ... he ran to put them on.

So, day 1 of potty training was a success with zero accidents.

I thought this would be a great time to do a post about Jack ... the happy boy :))

Issues with his head have been a theme for the majority of his life so far ... luckily we had a Pediatrician who was VERY experienced with this issue ... she jumped on the problem early and the misshapen head and neck muscle issues were corrected in just 3 months (we have since learned that when this is left to sort itself out with just parental involvement ... it will many times lead to more issues that may rquire physical therapy and long term helmet use, instead of permanent correction). Thank you, thank you , thank you to our wonderful Pediatrician back in California.

Having a big head has other problems ... when he falls ... he ALWAYS hits his head. As a baby learning to sit, he never would put out his hands to stop his fall and that is pretty much how he is today ... we have a lot of these bumps.

He is a detail guy and insists others are also ... and, yes, they ate them all ...

He loves Thomas ... but not having a picture taken ...

He loves Spike ... but not having his mouth cleaned.

Being a detail guy, he knows what we need to have lunch in the park and packs the appropriate lunch ... He did this all by himself ... I just took it out of the lunch bag to take a photo.

This is his dad's face looking back at me ...

Jack ... the one most likely to be like his dad and we love that about him ... and we just love him, period.

P.S. Now we know that my kids WILL be out of diapers before I'm in them (I'm assuming that occasional sneezing accident doesn't count). And, my husband has informed me that I'll shortly need to change my blog name to "My Life As A MoM Over 50" ...

Our Beautiful Spring Day Adventure

2010-03-06T03:14:00.003-08:00

Friday was an absolutely beautiful day here in North Texas ... the sky was a brilliant blue and the temperature was just perfect.

We were 15 minutes ahead of schedule getting to school, so I decided to treat myself and the kids to Starbucks ... extra strong coffee jolt for me ... banana bread for the kids. As these things usually work out ... when you're early for something there is no line ... we were second in line at Starbucks at 10 minutes to 8 in the morning on Friday ... amazing. I was so happy I paid for the 2 cars behind me so that they would have a good day, too

We drove to school singing songs in our usual fashion ... I start the song and deliberately sing the wrong words ... they correct me and laugh ... now that they are older they join in singing the wrong words to see if they can get each other to laugh.

I dropped the kids at school and drove off with my normal feeling of weirdness ... I haven't gotten used to being without the kids ... I can't relax ... I can't shake the need to be constantly aware of everything and everyone around ... you know that feeling if your a mom ... the hyper awareness you get with the birth of your child(ren).

My plan was to use the time at home to finish the taxes and any other paperwork I had time to address, pack a lunch, pick up the kids and head to the park to enjoy the first day of sunshine in what seemed like months.

But I just couldn't make myself head home ... I went to Target. I wanted to get the kids new soccer balls for the park and as I passed the baby aisle on the way out I notice that the music player my daughter has wanted is on sale so I pick that up for her. When I got home, I had just enough time to set up the player in her room for a surprise, get the park essentials ready and get back to school to pick up the kids.

At our school, no one is allowed in the building during pick up time ... everyone must pick up in the carpool lane. The kids are brought to the car by their teacher.

As I drove up to the school, the lawn service for the church next door was mowing ... the smell of the newly cut grass was intoxicating ... I love that smell ... nothing makes me think more about springtime than that ... I opened all the car windows to bask in the aroma.

I was about 8 cars back ... waiting my turn ... I moved forward toward the door and there were the kids ... as normal they waved when they saw me and yelled "Mommy" as I walked around the car to open the door.

There is always a bustle as I unbuckle backpacks and take off coats and herd everyone into the car. Because I have 3 to buckle in and not just one like most moms ... I normally shut the door without buckling anyone and pull around to a parking space so as not to hold up the line ...

Today ... my son is the first in the car ... he immediately notices that I have forgotten my promise to go home collect his stuffed toy and place it in his seat for after school ... and he starts to become completely unhinged ... he jumps out of the car back onto the sidewalk ... as I'm trying to apologise for forgetting and to hustle him back into the car, Girl 3 pushes a button in the car that activates a lever, that pinches the finger of Girl 1 ...

Girl 1 starts to scream & cry and pinches Girl 3 ... Girl 3 starts to cry .... son is on curb crying and refusing to get in the car ...

I notice that the cars in front of me have pulled off and I am holding up the line ... I shove my son in to the car and race around to drive to my parking spot where I can calm everyone down ... only he opens the car door and jumps out again. As I run around to put him back in, Girl 1 yells, "I'm going to throw up" ... that makes me stop ... I look in the car and luckily she has grabbed her vomit bowl* ... she is heaving up volumes ... thankfully in the bowl.

I grab my son again ... lock the door this time ... throw him in and slam the door. As I get into the drivers seat someone yells at me that he has opened the door again ... she closes it and I step on the gas to get the hell out of there ... well ... I stepped on the gas a little too hard ... I knock down my son ... and, unfortunately for me, vomit girl gets knocked down also ... with her bowl of contents.

I pull in to a parking space ... the din behind me is overwhelming ... I go around the car, open the back door and I am hit with the sights and sounds of my son screaming and crying, Girl 3 screaming and crying, and Girl 1 crying with snot running from both nostrils, puke running from her chin ... holding a half-full bowl of vomit ... the other half spewn around the interior of the car.

I am stunned beyond belief ... I stand there absolutely flabbergasted ... What the @#$@#$%^ has just happened???

Where should I start to fix all this????

Stop the crying? Clean up the vomit? Well the smell of the vomit is about to make me spew, so I decide to tackle that first. I opened the passenger side door to first grab my trusty container of wipes out of the door ... and the container is empty (thank you to whoever did that) ... I go back to the open back door ... the noise HAS to stop ... so I yell "Everyone ... knock it off !!!!" ... finally ... silence.

The twins' two teachers come over to offer assistance ... I laugh and say "What just happened?" ... they are quick to point out that all the teachers have been talking about how weird ALL the kids have been acting this past week and it's not just mine ... I thank them and say "I can handle it from here ... go enjoy your lunch break".

I had stepped away from the back door to talk to the teachers and as I turned back my daughter heaves the contents of her bowl into the parking lot.

I really don't think I need to add anymore to this post ... the above says it all ...

* My daughter has a very sensitive gag reflex ... she throws up when she crys and when she coughs ... so we always have a vomit bowl handy ... lovely ... I know..

Moving ... Part 1

2010-03-02T04:08:00.000-08:00

I wanted to update everyone on the latest info about our impending move.

But first, I wanted to thank everyone for being so supportive and helpful. I've gotten some wonderful emails and it has been hard to keep track of who I've given the latest info to ... so here goes....

We still have not gotten a clear go ahead to any one location, but Friday we got news that this job will be ending July 1. As is the usual, the company always qualifies this with "unless something comes up in the interim...". I really dislike that they always keep us hanging like that ... (for the record ... it doesn't bother my husband).

One of our relocation prospects is in the Northeast. The exact location is not known yet. They have several jobs going and several that are in the development stage. The hubby sees this location as the lease desirable ... he's not a big fan of the snow.

Another location is in Fort Worth ... this job would keep us in our current home. I've had a real love/hate relationship with this house and this area of Texas. I've started several blog posts about it, but I can't seem to finish them because I've never been able to put my finger on what, exactly, is the problem here. Staying put would be good for the obvious reasons ... we are established here with schools, doctors, etc. The bad is the weather, living practically on top of our neighbors, and the biggest negative is that I just have never liked it here ... I just can't explain it ... I've resisted all efforts at friendships and anything else that would make this a comfortable place for me to live ... again, I can't explain it ... I just really dislike it here.

The last location is in Austin. There is an interview on Tuesday and we are praying that this is where we end up. This seems like the ideal location for us ... we would be close to several family members in Austin, and the rest of the family is in Houston, just a short drive away. We have always felt that being geographically closer to my husbands family would be great for our children. All the cousins are in their age range. When our first child was born we decided that if she was to be an only child, we were going to move to Houston to be near other family close to here age (this was a big issue for us because we were in our 40's ... there are different realities we are dealing with because of our age)

Anyway, we are saying our prayers that today goes well and we are relocated to Austin. In the meantime, we have been prepping the house for sale. This means I have to finish any projects I've started ... the short list here is ... finish installing knobs on cabinets, finish painting garage, finish painting bathroom and installing new fixtures (I had to laugh when Helene mentioned painting her bathroom and the color being wrong ... I've repainted this bathroom 4 times and the color is still wrong ... and FYI ... I tried to link to her post but I couldn't figure out how to link to a past post) ...

And, of course, continue to get rid of all extraneous crap ... the Big 2010 Purge is still on over here. I've sold exactly one thing on Craig's List ... woo hoo ...

My stress level is increasing just writing this post ... there is sooo much to do. I'm an expert mover. I've moved a lot ... but doing it with kids is a whole different experience ...

Wish me luck ....

Betta, Mo'Betta, and Bestest

2010-02-28T07:30:00.001-08:00

I have so much on my mind I can barely sit still.

I've started exactly 13 blog posts in the last two weeks ... and I've only finished and posted 2. The rest are in progress. I'm reading other blogs but I'm having a hard time commenting ... I always try to have something to say other than "Great post" or "Well done" ... I try not to comment if I only have something stupid to say ... I bet that surprises some of you who have seen my stupid comments on your blog :P

I took this picture of my son reading his new favorite book ... and I have been writing a post about this author and all his books ... he's fantastic you can see his stuff here Chris Van Dusen . I'm still trying to get it done. Hopefully, this week.

(NOTE to everyone asking ... I'm going to post a moving update tomorrow ... thanks for all your kind words and inquiries)

I've been stymied by a couple of emails I've received from people who read my blog but never comment.

The first one accused me of copying her content ... Well, in answer to that, I have never read her blog and I've never even seen her comment on another blog that I do read. (I like to read every one's comments on their blogs). So, I'm not sure how she thinks that. When I emailed her back to ask about specifics and to let her know that I didn't know who she was ... she became really nasty. I've had to block her from my email and from the blog (both of those tasks took me several days to figure out).

Anyway, the other was nasty also ... apparently, someone noticed that I had changed the wording on one of my previous posts. Who knew anyone was even paying that much attention to my blog?

I guess I've broken some unwritten rule that says "You are never to correct any mistakes in previous posts".

Last week, two of my favorite bloggers Helene (Congrats on your 1000 followers ... it is well deserved) and Deb posted some blog tips. I've been reading a lot about how to make my blog better and more importantly how to be a good blogger friend and observe some etiquette rules.

But, I haven't come across anything that says I shouldn't go back to an old post and fix wording or spelling mistakes. I have often gone back and changed the wording on something that wasn't written clearly (I'm trying to improve my writing skills) and I have absolutely gone back and inserted a word I left out and I've corrected bad spelling.

Have I broken another blogging rule?

I'm really trying to be good at this ...

Do you correct mistakes in past posts?

P.S. So ... I just discovered that everytime I post a test to see how it looks and then go back and delete it ... it shows up like a new post I have made and even if I delete it ... it is still there on peoples reading lists. Would someone PLEASE tell me when I'm doing something stupid!!! I swear I'm such an idiot sometimes ....

Blogger of the Year ...

2010-02-22T03:02:00.002-08:00

Here is how my nightmare goes ...

After years of blogging, I'm being acknowledged for my superior writing skills and of course my wit ... I'm seen as the next Erma Bombeck AND the best mother ever ... I'm constantly asked, "How do you do it all and manage to be so gorgeous, too?". But the only thing I can think about is all the pressure. Now, I have to blog. It's no longer fun ... and the worst part ... I'm not longer anonymous.

Articles about me are first on the Internet, then picked up by the local papers, then a national story, and finally I'm contacted by Barbara Walters ... she wants a one on one interview to air in a special show all about me. I'm worried ... can I do an interview and not swear? My mom would say, "NO ... never in a million years ... trust me ... I know" .

Please, I pray, don't ask me what kind of tree I'd like to be ...
Here is how the interview goes ...

B.W. - "How has motherhood changed you?"

Me - "I'm no longer grossed out by boogers. I now see them as an important food source for my kids."

B.W. - (after a long, stunned, pause) "How do you feel about other bodily fluids?"

Me - "Oh ... I embrace them ... just yesterday, while having a tender moment hugging my son ... he peed on me to let me know how much he loves me.

What about the poop? Well, what would any day be without wiping a multitude of butts?

What if it gets on your hand? I'm just grateful it's not in my hair.

The vomit? Don't you know? We mom's use that to get out of having sex with our husbands. We make sure it's in our hair AND on our clothes ... it's a very useful tool."

B.W. - "Wow ... you're really good at answering your own questions."

Me - (ha ha)

B.W. - "How did being pregnant, first with a singleton and then 6 months later with TWINS! at the age of 43! change your body?"

Me - "Do you want to hear my definition of all the different words used for "Breasts"?"

B.W. - "Ummm ... Would you just answer the question?"

Me - "Oh come on ... you'll enjoy it ... we have an hour to fill."

B.W. - "Ummm ... we can always edit it out ..."

Me - "Trust me ... it's all gold ... here's the break down ...

Breasts = the word for the young and dating

Milk Duds = for the woman who wants to breast feed but can't

Boobs = for the moms who know the feeling of having a work load placed on their chest and now see the destructive aftermath in the mirror each day

Tits = are for tramps

It's funny, right? This is the kind of thing my readers have been enjoying for years."

(I notice at this point that Barbara has a strange look on her face ... and I sense that she thinks the interview is not going well ... I've been trying to stay on topic but as usual I'm probably babbling all over the place ... so I suggest a story of a recent shopping trip because it relates to the whole boob thing and it may liven things up ...)

Me - "I'll tell you a short story ... On a recent shopping trip to Target a sympathetic mom stopped me when she noticed my knees shaking badly ... "Can I help you?" she asked, " I noticed your knees are shaking badly." ... "Oh, thanks for your concern", I say, "But those are my boobs ... I tuck them into my pants when I shop so they don't get in the way."

(I sense she doesn't think my story is funny ... I'm starting to sweat a little ... I'm frantically trying to remember what the question was ... Oh yeah ... How has birthing three babies changed my body ... okay, I'll answer that and try to make her happy)

Me - "Going back to the original question ... How has my body changed? Well, for starters, when I brush my teeth naked now, my boobs hit the counter when I lean over the sink. I'm sure you can imagine how startling that is when they come in contact with the cold hard tile."

(And, of course, I laugh at how funny I think I am)

B.W. - "We all as parents say things we never thought we would ever say. What things have you said that you've been surprised about?"

Me - (ha ha ha) "Yes, I'm sure we all do it. A few things come to mind like ... "Who peed on the floor?" ... "Why is there a booger on the counter?" ... "Why does the whole house smell like poop" ... "Is that giant booger from YOUR nose?"

You know, one of the funniest things I say is, "Use your inside voices". I hear other mothers using this phrase to get their kids to stop yelling in the library. I use that phrase to make other moms think I'm trying to get my kids to be quiet. The reality is that those ARE my kids inside voices ... I always get a good laugh when I say that."

(Now, I'm sweating profusely. She hasn't smiled once during the entire interview ... and I'm giving her my best stuff ... I'm pretty sure she is about to discover her mistake ... I really only have 20 followers ... 11 of them refuse to acknowledge publicly that they like my blog ... but I continue on ... hoping I can get her plastic face to smile)

B.W. - "How were you able to lose all the baby weight"

Me - "Naked butt shots on the refrigerator and the pantry."

(come on Babs ... this is my best stuff ... not even a snicker for that one? ... I continue...)

"I had read that other women like to take photos of their feet while standing on the scale, so they can record the number on the scale getting smaller. But, I thought that would be easy to cheat on. My scale is right next to my sink and I could easily put my hand there and push up to make that number go down. Then one day I thought ... why not take a photo of my naked butt in the mirror each Monday morning ... one flexed, one regular ... and tape them to all the food sources in my house. If I have to look at that each time I reach for food, surely that sight would deter me. What I didn't anticipate is the side benefit ... My husband was able to lose the 30 pounds he gained also. He even had the added incentive of seeing my butt more often, so naturally he lost his extra weight first"

B.W. - (clears throat and boldly plows on) "All moms talk about how exhausted they were in the beginning. For me, I was yawning all day and had to drink an extra cup of coffee. How was your experience with that?"

Me - "Well I was thinking I was starting to have a problem when, one day, whilst sitting on the toilet, I realized that no one was crying and no one had followed me to talk. I was savoring the peace and quiet when I happened to look at my underwear and noticed they were on inside out and backwards. I laughed a little because I'd been thinking all morning that my butt must be getting huge because my underwear felt different. I left them that way ... I was just too tired to take off my shoes to change them around. Later that same morning, I noticed my shirt was inside out so I started to check all my clothes, luckily it ended there ... until the next day. ( I suddenly had a new awareness of my appearance, I guess). I had just returned home from grocery shopping and ran to use the bathroom ... as I was washing my hands I noticed I had some disgusting looking substance on my shirt ... and it was on inside out ... then I saw I had on two different earrings AND two different shoes ... the earrings I can understand ... but the shoes? How could I not notice that?

But ... it was not until later that afternoon that I finally admitted that I couldn't go on this tired ... I fell off the chair I was sitting on while I was breast pumping because I had fallen asleep. I decided, at that point, that it would probably be in my best interest to just stay there and sleep for a bit. Unfortunately, this is how my friend found me when she came in a while later. I have convinced myself that the shock on her face was because she was concerned for my well being ... but I fear that the shock was really a product of her getting a gander of my giant boobs."

B.W. - (just stares at me for a moment then says ...) "In closing, I must say that you have surprised me with how much, and the type, of information you think is appropriate to share.

Me - "Well, frankly, once you've gone through IVF, pregnancy, and childbirth and you've had multitudes of people sticking hands, scopes, and various other objects into you, plus hundreds of total strangers seeing you naked ... nothing seems off limits anymore.

Run Turkey Run

2010-02-16T02:09:00.000-08:00

We are making preliminary preparations to move and I've haven't had time to post. After reading today's post over at Erin's blog http://ifyougiveamomamoment.blogspot.com I thought I'd repost this from Novemeber 24, 2009.

Hope everyone is having a good week :))

I love this time of the year. Thanksgiving then Christmas. For the many years that I was employed, this was always a time with a lot of days off. And, being the type A good little workaholic that I am, this was the only time I ever felt really good about not being at work.

Now, with the kids ... I love it for all the new experiences I get to see them have ... and all the new traditions we are creating as a new family.

Some of my fondest moments growing up was cooking with my mom on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. My parents were the type to always invite a lot of guests to our home ... especially those they knew were going to be alone. We always had a lot of cooking to do and we needed to start the day before.

For years I was the helper ... I would stir, fetch, wash dishes, slice apples, grease pans ... my mom was wise enough to not ask me to actually cook anything. She had watched me cook over the years. I could whip up a mean smoothie and scramble an egg ... but seriously ... I'm a bit of a disaster in the kitchen.

I've heard stories from others about how they can't cook but those same people mention things like Julienne (I should really Google what that is) and I know they are just being coy. I'm someone who actually wants to be a good cook but I just can't get there. My mom has done a recipe with me step by step and the end result is still not right. She can't figure it out ... it's like I have a disconnect in my brain and a dark cooking cloud following me around.

Let's include some examples here ... When I was briefly married in my early twenties, that guy was an accomplished Country Fried Chicken cook. One day he called me and asked me to cook this when I got home and gave me detailed instructions ... spices in the Bisquick on a plate to dredge (huh?) it in ... but first soak it in milk. Well, first what the %^$# is dredge? ... but I don't ask because by this point in our marriage I knew he was an idiot ... So, I get home and assemble the ingredients and I decide that I can skip a step by putting the milk in the Bisquick and making a paste (because of course he's an idiot and I can do this better for sure). I spackle the outside of the meat with the paste and put it in the electric skillet to fry ... now anyone reading this who knows what is about to happen ... YOU CAN COOK ... I had no idea that the outside would turn into a pancake ... or that the piece of meat would be raw under the perfectly cooked pancake ... I have to say he was quite impressed with my cooking ability ... not to mention my time saving technique.

Then there was the time that I was going to cook a whole chicken for dinner ... mom had told me about removing the contents in the cavity and to wash it ... but she didn't mention that it would smell bad. I don't eat (or cook) much meat so I wasn't sure what the smell should be when it was raw ... so I take the chicken to my mom, who is quietly reading in her room, to ask (looking back she may have been praying for me with a bible ... or maybe for herself and my dad) ... I tell her the problem, spread the legs of the chicken and shove it under her nose ... she abouts throws up on the bed, but makes it to the bathroom just in time ... she correctly asks me "What is wrong with you? How could you not know that the chicken is bad?". Now in my defense ... have you ever smelled fish before it's cooked? I just thought chicken smelled bad too before it was cooked.

I saved my mom's absolute best "M" cooking story for last because it's her favorite and I know she is going to read this ...

One Thanksgiving whilst cooking with my mom (she has at this point in life decided that I'm not to even attempt to make a decision on my own ... I'm only to do as told) she asks me to grease my hands ... I hesitate .. she has never asked this before ... but she is making bread and maybe she needs me to squish the dough and this will keep it from sticking to my hands ... so I stick my hands into the can of Crisco and get a large handful (because of course more is better ... I don't want to have dough sticking to my hands). I slather my hands front, back, in between fingers and I even grab a little more because I think I don't have enough ... then finally I look up at my mom and say "OK done ... what do you need me to do now" ... only I notice that my mom is looking at me with a really odd expression ... "What are you doing?" she asks "Greasing my hands" I say ... looonngg pause whilst she contemplates my stupidity ... "The PANS you idiot ... the PANS" ... yes ... she called me in idiot ... we laughed until we practically wet our pants ... and we still laugh just a hard each year when this subject inevitably comes up.

Happy Thanksgiving ... I hope everyone is creating some good memories with their families ... We will be eating a catered meal courtesy of Mimi's Cafe (and the $80.00 we gave them).

The 2010 Purge ... Part 2

2010-02-11T02:24:00.003-08:00

The problem with my life, right now, may not be my lack of accomplishments ... but rather my lack of recognizing them ...

My goal for 2010 is to purge and to do more things that make me happy ... I started with my blog and I've moved on to my home. But, I was unhappy with my progress until last night ... here is the conversation that occurred ...

Girl 1 (daddy walks in the door from work), "Daddy, Daddy ... look at our beautiful new closet !!". She drags him over to see the hall closet that I had just finished organizing ... I hadn't said a word about it ... I'd just done it ... not really expecting anyone to notice. I see something that needs to be done and it stays on my mind until it is complete. I do it and then on to the next thing. I'm not in the habit of stopping to take a photo of the before and after ... and many of my completed projects just go away. Each project usually goes unrewarded and unrecognized ... except that it frees my brain of that particular thing and that is actually a huge thing in my life right now ...

Background ...

Clutter makes me crazy. Having things in an unorganized state makes me loose sleep ... it also makes me unproductive .... and the more unproductive I am the worse the situation gets and around and around I go. My mom has named this "action paralysis" ... you have so much to do that you can't figure out where to start.

In October 2006, I was suddenly overwhelmed with three children under the age of 2 (along with 30 lbs of extra weight, surgery recuperation, and PPD) and life as I knew it was over. It took awhile to realize it ... but one day it hit me ... I was in the laundry room folding lots and lots of little towels (we have a drawer filled with 12 x 12 white towels that we use for everything ... drying dishes, wiping spills, burp cloths for babies ... etc) and my husband walks in and says "You have three kids now ... you don't have time to fold all those towels ... just throw them in the drawer" ... duh ... of course ... why couldn't I have thought of that?

And so life changed and became a little disorganized (at least for my Type A personality ... I wanted to look in that drawer and see those towels folded).

Then, we learned that we were being relocated to Texas from California ... with a 2 year old and 2 - 1 year old's. I can pretty much say our life got totally out of control at that point.

Thanks goodness for relocation companies because there was no way I had the time to pack. We typically move every two years with my husband's job ... so every two years I would go through the house from top to bottom and sort and purge so as not to move any junk. We had been in our current home for 5 years and we had accumulated more "stuff" than normal. We ended up moving all the "stuff" to Texas with us ... now I have to PURGE all the stuff.

I not sure that I would have reached this purge point yet had it not been for the purchase of a new sofa for the family room. That meant the family room sofa was going upstairs and the upstairs sofas would be purged ... but the sofas got moved to the playroom (temporarily)... where we had already moved two dressers (temporarily) that we are going to purge. The playroom now is a disaster ... the kids try to play in there but really can't.

"Break it down in to small pieces" everyone says ... yeah ... right. My brain can't process that way of working. But it's about the only way to get anything done at this point in my life and I really need to be better at adapting.

But wait, I may be getting it ... My "all or nothing" personality may be seeing shades of gray ...

Today ...

I got up this morning and had an epiphany ... I had just completed 4 projects ... not just the hall closet ... without even realizing it ... had my 4 year old not brought it to my attention last night, I probably would not have realized it. Here is what I've accomplished so far this year (besides my normal daily things) ....

1. organized kids craft area (formerly called the dining room)

2. cleaned and organized the closet under the stairs

3. took inventory of items to sell

4. cleaned and organized the hall closet

Because I typically see the whole picture and not the individual pieces ... I'm failing to see what I've done ... I focus on the undone ... the list of undone is gi-normous ... but the list of "done" is big, too ... especially if I look at what I accomplish everyday with the kids.

Sooo ... 2010 ... it's still ON !!!

I've added an addendum to my goal to purge this year ....

Purge AND ... focus on the "done" in writing and with photos ...

Stay tuned for lots of before and after photos ... I know ... you can hardly wait :)

The only thing that will stop me now ???

We just found out that we are going to be relocated ... possibly to the northeast ... yikes

No More ...

2010-02-04T02:54:00.001-08:00

Today we saw the kids' dentist, Dr. Jessie ... our purpose for the visit?

My first born has stopped sucking her thumb.

She really stopped last October ... but I wanted to be sure it was a permanent thing. Dr. Jessie and all her staff made a huge deal of it ... they are soooo wonderful ... She had balloons, too, but they didn't make it home.

To grasp the magnitude of her accomplishment and how hard she worked to stop, I need to tell you that she was sucking her thumb in the womb. When she was born she had a blister on her thumb from sucking it ... all the nurses joked about how hard of a habit it was going to be to break ... she did it without help or aids ... the only thing we did was to occasionally remind her that she needed to stop around 4 years old (per Dr. Jessie). Our pedi's advice was to not pressure her ...

We are so happy for her ...

And ... FYI

The posing was her idea ... she has ham in her DNA :)

Oh, Brother ...

2010-02-02T02:20:00.003-08:00

My brother is getting married ... and I really need to say, " FINALLY!!!" ... we've been waiting forEVER. My family loves her ... have loved her for OVER 2 YEARS (except me ... I've been a tad busy ... not that I don't love her ... we've just never met ... our paths have not crossed for a variety of reasons ... none of which have been for a lack of trying ... but I trust my family to know that she is perfect for my brother ... so I love her by proxy).

They did a Wedding Window website to keep everyone informed of all the details. This site is fantastic but, really, they left out a small detail ...

They should have included a category for the crazy relative they invited to the wedding to vent ... that would be me ...

(Oh ... and also ... Please ... Please ... can you stop that music? ... must it play incessantly the ENTIRE time I'm perusing the site for fodder?)

Sooo ... in order not to rain my crazy all over their wedding site I'm going to do it here. Why is it that so many people loose their humor when they decide to get married? Regular people who joke around and see other people's weddings as funny, suddenly get all mushy and serious about their own ...

My brother, I fear, is falling victim to this phenomenon too. So, I say, he is fair game for this post ... he needs to take it like the joker man he is ... any guy who can go through life laughing at every fart joke ever told, wallowing in the odor that gags others, calling up poopreport.com every time he needs a good laugh, and genuinely being one of the funniest people I know ... needs to have these things pointed out about his over the top mushy wedding site.

Quick wedding story of my own here ... The day we got married, Big Daddy and I were driving to our wedding site in Dana Point, California, about 50 minutes away when suddenly he says ... "I forgot my pants" ... seriously? ... how do you even get out of the house without your pants? ... better yet ... How did I not notice? ... we were so happy with ourselves that we were going to be there on time, too.

Now on to my "crazy relative" comments that I wish I could insert on the their website ...

Under the heading "From Our Hearts", they tell a story of their "Non Meeting"... how they grew up in the same area, knew the same people, attended the same functions, relatives and friends knew each other and attended the same church, they attended the same church, they both taught children at that same church ... and they never met ... and they never met ... and they never met ... and they leave this statement as a parting shot, "So, if you don't believe in God, there you go. And, he has a great sense of humor"

I say, "Jokes on you ... he tried really hard to keep you two apart".

Under the the heading "Other Info", Pastor Such-n-Such, "Will be doing the hitching"

I say - "If you're gonna do hick, by golly, be doin 'er raight. Dem der should say, "We be gettin hitched by dem der church feller".

Under the heading "Other Info" about this church feller, they say, "He is one righteous dude"

I say - When you reach the age of 40 you can no longer say, "He is one righteous dude.." and not have people laugh at you (for "people" read "ME" ... dude). And, really, should you be talking "Hick" and "Surfer dude" in the same paragraph?

They have on their "Welcome" page a ticker counting down the days until the wedding ...

I say, "Smacks a little of a Doomsday Clock ... wouldn't ya say?"

AHHHHH ...

All I can say is ... Thank You, God, for letting me blog ... without you (my blog) I would forever be shunned by all those who can't take a joke (for "all those who can't take a joke" read "certain family, certain friends, and probably most of the Bride's side" ... doesn't the groom's side usually see more humor in the wedding than the bride's? ) ...

Any whoo ... venting is over ... now I don't have to call everyone to tell them all these jokes ... ha ha ha ... I thought I would explode before I got all this out. I was going to their website daily to see if they had put in a category for "Crazy Relative" and one never showed up.

So ... now I can be nice sister again. :)

Why I'll never be "Mother Of The Year"

2010-01-29T03:29:00.002-08:00

I'm 47 years old ... I'm old ... I know I'm old. I hope at this point you're thinking ... that's not so old, I'm 40 ... 38 ...35 (fill in your number here). I've started many sentences with "I'm an older mom ... " only to have another mom say, "I'm an older mom, too."

Two close family members, both moms, also say this to me often. But they don't understand what makes it different for me ... one of them has two daughters, 10-1/2 and 8-1/2, the other has a girl about to turn 16 and a son that is 14.

All these people don't understand one important thing ... they are this age NOW ... I'm this age with 3 and 4 year olds.

ALL of the mom's I meet are easily 10-20 years younger than I am.

To put this in perspective let me site these statistics for you ... when Girl 1 starts Kindergarten I will be 49 ...

When the twins start ... I'll be 50.

When Girl 1 graduates High School, with the Class of 2023, I will be 61. When the twins graduate, I will be 62.

Even my younger sister didn't get it until I called her on her 43rd birthday last year ... during our conversation I casually slipped in ... "Just think ... two weeks after MY 43rd birthday I had my first child" ... I think this is the longest she has ever been at a loss for words ... she had just become a grandmother for the first time the month before ... "OMG ... OMG ... " ... "Yes," I said, " ... now you understand my situation".

Now that I have your attention ... you'll be so impressed at how mature I am and why I'll never be "Mother of the Year" ...

My neighbor inspired this post ... she is one of these southern women who has a huge smile on her face no matter what crap is coming out of her mouth. I had to remind her one day that I'm the mother of my children ... NOT HER ... and she has never gotten past that ... she loves to takes shots at me with a huge smile on her face ... It's too bad she doesn't read this blog ... I could really drive her crazy :)

Any whooo ... I thought about the many things I do with my kids that may take me out of the running for Mother of the Year ... here are just a few examples ...

One day, whilst on a walk/bike ride with the kids, a wasp landed on the basket of Girl 1's bike. She calmly said "Mom what kind of a bee is that?" I look and yell "Run" and yell again, "Ahhh it's a wasp ... every man for himself ... aaahhhh." When I look back, from across the street, I see the children have not followed ... they are looking closely at the wasp ... I yell "Don't touch it ... if it stings you you'll swell up like a hippo and that's not a good look for a girl".

Unfortunately, my neighbor was watching and it prompted her to say, "Yeah, you're getting Mother Of The Year for sure."

I wanted to take a photo of my daughters first skid marks for her baby album.

I encourage the kids to blame all farts and burps, that happen during the day, on daddy who is at work and can't defend himself.

My daughter yells "boogers boogers" every time she cries and her nose starts to run. When she had a mini tantrum recently, I was ignoring her and it made her really mad so she said,"I'm going to tell daddy" and I said, " You may think that's going to make me feel bad ... but it's snot" and laughed until my sides hurt.

Every time I change a diaper that is just urine I say, "It's all urine pee pee" and I laugh every time ... I'm laughing now just typing this ... this is my brothers fault ... he used to say this every time he had to urinate.

The first time I changed a diaper that had corn in it ... I called the other kids over to look.

I like to freak them out occasionally ... it keeps them on their toes. Our local museum had a dinosaur exhibit ... I thought it would be a fun time and a good photo op ...

And I was right ... the dinosaurs roar and move and open their mouths ... my normally unflappable daughter was impressed ... The real picture...

Possibly my husband won't get Father of the Year, either ... he stuck his hand in it's mouth when it roared and my daughter freaked ...

Poor kids ... :)

The One Most Likely To Be Me

2010-01-21T03:02:00.014-08:00

It's time to post about my little darlings. Since I featured Girl 3 most recently (she was the one featured in the puppy incident), I decided to start with her ...

Stickers on all her stuffed animals was an easy decision after she decorated the front of the vanity drawers in stickers ... the world needs more decoration.

Poor dear ... she seems to have inherited all my weirdness. As the kids have grown, their personalities are becoming more apparent. It's difficult to get a photo of her just posing with a smile ... if you ask her to smile for the camera ... you get this ...

Or this ...

Packing the diaper bag for the zoo, I of course put in sunglasses and hats for the kids ... when I went to buckle her in her seat, I found this ...

I got the kids balloons at the end of a long day of errands, she picked this one and insisted on a picture of her and Dora ... I think if I included Dora in the photos of all the kids, their heads wouldn't look so big ...

If she is left alone, we will typically get something like this ...

And this ...

Her preferred bike riding attire ...

If she can be bothered to stop and rest, she will have a pile of animals with her ... and always this cat ...

She adores her big sister ...

And we couldn't adore her more than we do ...

How To Win A War

2010-01-15T06:18:00.015-08:00

The randomness of my thoughts is disconcerting ... here I am driving down the road ... kids being entertained by the highly annoying Max and Ruby DVD ... the same Christmas one that they have wanted to see a gazillion times since Thanksgiving ... and I'm thinking about a conversation I had with my husband the day before ... it went something like this ...

Husband, "I just picked up an entire bag of dog poop in the backyard ... I thought we agreed that you were going to do that every day and I'd do it on the weekends so the kids can safely run around back there. Why haven't you been doing that?"

Me, (never one to miss an opportunity to make some kind of snarky comment) "Well, it has been 9 friggin degrees this past week and I didn't feel like freezing my ass off to do it when the kids were not going to be outside anyway."

Husband ... starts to back away ... knowing full well he has just started something that is not going to come out with him looking good in any way ...

Me, "I wipe every butt in this house except yours ... and that includes the dogs ... every damn time the kids sneak them food I end up cleaning dog butts. So I think YOU should be picking up ALL the dog poop from now on ...

Me ... still, "In fact, I think you should really be doing more of everything around here ... If we were to put up a scoreboard to keep track of the amount of hours I spend wiping butts vs the amount of time you spend at work getting quiet time (if he gets to call my running errands without kids "my free time" I get to call his day at work "quiet time") I would be the winner hands down. If we added in wiping noses and cleaning vomit (yes, the dogs too) you would never catch up.

And on it went until he called "uncle" and decided it would be in his best interest to maybe pick up all the dog poop.

Then somehow my brain went to a night recently ... there I was enjoying a quiet moment watching a TV program and a horrible odor invades the room ... ack ... ack ... that smell is horrible ... I look over at my husband and he is sound asleep. I look over the edge of the bed and there is the dog ... poor guy, I think ... he's 13 and not doing great ... I can tolerate a few nasty farts ... it's just really too bad that he likes to sleep on my side of the bed.

The smell gets worse and worse ... he's cranking them out at breakneck speed ... then, I can stand it no longer ... I get up ... open everything and turn on the fan and crank up the heater ... finally, it subsides ... I close up and turn off everything and crawl back in bed ... within seconds the smell has returned ... with a vengeance ... I make some sort of gagging noise ... and my husband starts to shake with uncontrolled laughter ...

So now, here I am, driving down the road, wondering how I can get him back, when my daughter says, "Mom I'm hungry. Can we get cheese roll ups?"

Click ... an idea ....

"Sure ... let's go to Taco Bell ... I'm going to get 3 bean burritos with extra beans."

"Honey ... I'm home ... and do I have a surprise for you ...."

A New Kind Of Diaper

2010-01-14T02:25:00.010-08:00

Yesterday was one of those days when things start out normally enough, then piece by piece start to unravel.

I dropped the kids off at preschool and ran to complete as many tasks as possible in my two hours of time ... I'd just pulled into the parking lot when my sister calls ... Her 1 year old grandson is having a medical problem that is a real serious issue ... we spent the better part of 2 hours brainstorming ways to support her daughter and grandson.

I was almost late to read to my daughters class ... I arrived out of breath and discombobulated ... something you don't want to be in front of 4 and 5 years old. The reading went smoothly enough but it was not as much fun as usual ... I was too distracted.

When we pick up the other two kids, I notice my youngest daughter is not wearing the clothes she was brought to school in ... this must mean she had another peeing accident. She has started this the last two days. Oh well, I think, lets move on ... but no ... she jumps up and says in a loud voice "Mommy ... the pee pee just came out ... there was nothing I could do ... it went sssshhhh, ssshhh and it just came out ... and then I farted" ... and of course every adult standing there laughed ... and, of course, that was just what she wanted ... her descriptions of her "pee pee" accidents have been hysterical the last two days ... It's what has kept me from being really pissed off at her ...

So I move on ... I know I'm going to have to correct this ... but we have a play date at the park and we have to get moving. Then I discover that there are no diapers in the car and my son's diaper is FULL ... one more drop of urine and the thing will explode ... I check his backpack ... no diapers ... he must have needed two diapers today at school. So now I'm stuck ... then I try to convince him to use a pull up ... no dice ... I decide to chance it and go to the park.

We are at the park for a full 15 minutes and my daughter pees again in her pants ... lovely ... so now we have no choice but to leave.

At home, I set about correcting all the urine related problems ... clean diapers, clean clothes, everybody uses the potty ... ok, we're good to go ... but wait ... in walks my daughter with a suspicious bulge in the back of her pants ...

"Did you poop in your pants?" I ask in an angry voice ... because this is it ... I'll have to punish her ...

"It's my puppy" she says ... huh? ... is this a new euphemism for poop? ...

"My puppy said he wants to be in my pants" she says

"Fine" I say and I walk off ... this girl is over the top weird ... I have no idea where she could have inherited that from ...

Then, about an hour later, I get "Mommy, my puppy peed in my pants" ... what now? ...

"What do you mean?" I ask ... fearing the worst ... I look in her pants and pull out this ...

It is, of course, filled with pee. But on the bright side ... I've discovered two new things ...

I can now totally go "green" ... we have a ton of these small stuffed toys and this little guy absorbed every drop of her pee ... I'm planning to use them in every diaper for my son from now on ... I may have to buy him bigger pants and I'll definitely have to get his teachers on board ... but they wash really well ...

And I discovered a new way to keep the twins entertained ....

... wash their stuffed toys and put them in the dryer with the light on ... I should have made a video of it ... they were laughing like crazy ....

Probing The Environment

2010-01-11T03:40:00.000-08:00

This post contains the words pee pee, penis, and erection ...

Read at your own risk ...

Yesterday, my husband took our oldest daughter on a daddy and daughter outing ... they took a day trip to Houston to see grammy and grandpa by airplane. Ever the thoughtful one, my husband purchases a toy for her and she gets matching ones for the twins.

This morning they distribute the gifts and there is excited squeals all around. Shortly, thereafter there is laughter from the family room ... my son is holding it up from his lap laughing like crazy ... finally he says "it looks like a big pee pee"

My sister has four boys ... she swears that they are touching themselves in the womb. She once told me that every time she removed a diaper their hand was on their penis.

Seriously ... if we played with our boobs that much they would think we were strange ... hmmm ... but really it would probably make them just think more about their penis.

Any whooo ... my husband and I were in the kitchen when our son had this enlightening observation ... here is our conversation that followed ...

Me (shaking my head) - " What is wrong with all of you?"

Husband - "What? It's natural"

Me - "He had an erection in the tub once and told me that his pee pee looked like a poo poo"

Husband - (laughs ... some kind of "yeah I understand that" laugh)

Me - "Then, a few days ago, I saw him put his finger on the tip and push the whole thing back inside himself"

Husband - (now dying laughing)

Me - "What? Do you do that? Have you done that?"

Husband - (now practically crying he's laughing so hard ... I suspect he has done that at some point ... jeez ... men are so weird)

Me - "Why are you all so weird? ... and seriously ... what's wrong with you? Why do you all do that? Come on ... tell me ... did you ever try to push your penis back inside like that?"

Husband - (with a perfectly straight face) "Don't worry about it ... it's all part of probing the environment" (then laughs again).

So ... here it is ... a new euphemism for playing with yourself ...

You have no idea what I have to put up with everyday ...

The Big Purge ... Starts Here ....

2010-01-07T14:36:00.012-08:00

This will be my first post of the new year. I've started about 5 ...but never finished. They somehow didn't seem important enough to start off the new year. Most of my favorite bloggers had some end of the year/start off the new year idea for great posts. But me? Nothing ... and then more nothing. I was able to make some decorating changes to my blog ... I guess that's something. Then, whilst in the midst of that, I decided to clean house and kick some bloggers to the curb ... and an idea for a goal this year was born. (One year my goal was to have kids ... look how that worked out).

Purge ....

I have resolved this year to be happy. I have noticed that I have a sour attitude lately and I don't care for it. So, this year, I'm back to my happy self. I'm purging "negative" from my life where ever possible and I'm starting with the blogs I read.

Every day I have to make a decision about how I'm going to spend my 30 minutes of "me" time. I can read blogs and comment or I can blog myself. One morning, a blogger asked a question "How many blogs do you have on your reading list?" I don't have many ... at least not compared to most of the other blogs I read ... and some of those, I noticed, I'm not really enjoying ... I'm going to their site mostly out of habit ... So I purged them.

My 2010 theme ... This will be my year to purge and be selective ... this will be my year to start back to things that make me happy ... to streamline my life in many ways ... I'm starting with my blog and moving to my house ... watch out kids ... all your stuff is next. Maybe my husband should be next ... he is a keeper of crap (I would say he's "a saver" or "a collector of items" but he is not selective ... he keeps everything.)

Any whooo ... the bloggers on my reading list now are people I really enjoy reading everyday ... they are bloggers I wish would blog more than they do. They make me laugh and think ... and they help me to be better in some way ... even if it's just to start my day with a more happy attitude.

Watch out family ...the purge is ON ... you may be next

Being A Mom Over 40 Is Different

2009-12-31T04:28:00.003-08:00

We had our third measurable snow event on Tuesday ... the second was Christmas Eve ... I had a white Christmas for the first time in my life.

The kids were determined to build snowmen...

They were successful ... 6 was the total count of mini snowmen ... After they had completed them all, I was asked to assist with carrot noses, eyes, smiles, and hats. Carrot noses ... check ... that's easy ... we even had baby carrots for their little faces ... but the others ? (sigh) I have the "creativity" gene lacking in me. I dismissed the hats and smiles as not necessary (it was a cold and wet snow ... the kids were soaking wet and freezing) and looked for eyes. "Buttons" the kids yelled ... "Get buttons" ... just who do they think I am? Martha Stewart? I don't have loose buttons laying around to use for snowmen eyes ...

This is where being over 40 comes in handy ...

Those are prunes for eyes ...

Happy New Year to everyone ....

The Things That Didn't Get Done

2009-12-28T03:10:00.005-08:00

I have always been the person who is done with all my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. I would address all the cards over Thanksgiving weekend and mail them Monday morning. I saved the wrapping of gifts until the first Saturday in December ... I'd gather all the gifts, wrapping paper, and my favorite Christmas movies and have a little wrapping party. Then the rest of the season was filled with fun. After I got married, I had to have one gift mailed by October 1st ... we had relatives living in Saudi Arabia ... so I used that as my new cut off day to have all my shopping done.

I used to really love to tell people this ...

Now I'm getting all my payback from those people wishing that I would be cursed and tortured with the scourge of disorganization ...

Now I have kids ...

In 2005, our daughter was born in June ... I managed to get all the shopping done and cards mailed before our trip to Texas for Christmas ... the gift for our relative in Saudi Arabia was mailed late and cost double the amount of the actual gift to mail because we missed the October 1 deadline.

In 2006, our twins were born in October. No cards were mailed and the only gifts that were purchased were for our kids and my husband gave me something ... If I watch the video we shot on Christmas Day, I could tell you what those gifts were ... and I could also tell you that I was in tears unwrapping presents ... I was upset that everything wasn't "perfect" for our first Christmas together ... Hello PPD.

Now it's 2009.

I didn't get cards mailed ... my husband took his computer in for service and they had to wipe out the hard drive ... my old address book was on that computer and I hadn't had the time to transfer them to mine ... but that's ok because the Christmas photo we had taken of the kids, along with all the copies we had made to send to everyone, disappeared ... and that's ok too because the cards I bought really suck and I wasn't thrilled with sending them out anyway.

Two of my favorite people on this planet, my mother and father in law, didn't get a gift ... I had arranged for all of their kids and grand kids to have a professional photo taken ... that fell apart the day before we were to leave for the family Christmas celebration at their house. I found this out via phone messages left on my phone while I was waiting for my daughter to get out of surgery (a minor surgical procedure to remove a lump on her leg that the surgeon thinks is benign).

We never put up a single Christmas light ... but we did get the kids to the biggest choreographed light display in Texas ... in 42 degree weather with a wind chill in the 30's.

2010 is around the corner ... and big changes are in store for us (more about that later). I am determined to get back to all the early Christmas stuff.

I'm determined to spend all the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas doing fun things with family.

I think I'll start addressing Christmas cards now ... I have the cards ... all I need are the addresses and the photos. If I leave them unsealed, I can put the 2010 picture in with the 2009 picture ...

This is my attempt at being more positive in 2010. I need a motto for 2010 ... 2009 was supposed to be all mine ... but that didn't quite work out ...

In December 2010, I don't want to be posting about the things that didn't get done and feeling bad about it ... I want to post about the things that didn't get done and feel good about it.

Balance and the "Slow Family" Wannabe

2009-12-27T03:07:00.003-08:00

Balance. Most of us are grasping for it ... striving for it ... just trying to figure it out. It was a big topic of discussion at our family gathering this year. Is it accomplished as a whole or in small pieces? Can you say you have balance while one aspect of your life is totally out of control? Is having balance just a feeling that your life is under control? Or is it about the actual balancing of individual pieces like work time vs time at home with family, chores vs. time with the kids, time for ourselves vs. time with friends, ...etc.

I'm starting to understand that, in my life, I have good balance ... I'm told that often by people I have a lot of respect for ... but my perception of my life is the opposite. I think I balance individual things well, but the big picture feels out of control.

My challenge now is how to balance family time and extra curricular activities. I don't want to be the mother running from place to place to place then falling in to bed each night exhausted then repeating the whole process again the next day. I want the kids in activities but the time commitment is ridiculous.

I played competitive soccer in an "Over 30" women's soccer league for years ... every Saturday for 6 months of the year was taken up by soccer. No weekend trips. It was the reason I quit. Now I'm considering putting my kids in some kind of activity. The things we are considering are soccer, swimming, karate, or maybe, obedience then agility classes with our new dog.

I'm leaning toward something animal related. I grew up on a ranch and would love that lifestyle for my kids, but that may not be practical for us to start right now.

The bottom line here is that there may be no way to avoid the running around. Every mom I've spoken to has resigned themselves to this lifestyle ... but is there another choice? Does it have to be "all" or "nothing"? We have 3 kids ... if each one is in only one activity that's would be at a minimum 3 practices each week (hopefully on separate days) and three games (hopefully at separate times). All the practices seem to start at around 5 or 6 (dinner time) that would put everyone home at around 6-7 ... is that when dinner is eaten? When is the cooking done if no one is home after 4 in the afternoon? Just how many crock pot meals can someone eat?

Everyone I know is doing this ... the parents are running their kids around, all over town ... limiting each kid to one activity doesn't work unless you only have one child. So is this the only option?

If we choose not to enroll the kids in outside activities, what will they do? I only know what I did ... once I got home from school I rode horses, then I had to clean stalls, wipe down equipment, and feed everyone before it got dark. I wasn't in any other activity. The beauty of this was it all took place where home was and we got to decide what horse shows we attended and how many. My sister was doing the same thing and attending the same shows. Horse shows have classes divided by age groups.

What is the answer? How do we not start down a road that will be hard to detour from?

I'm on a quest ... can it be done? I know two families that seem to think it's OK to spend $3000.00 (yes .. that's 3 thousand dollars) to enroll in Volleyball ... and that's not including all the traveling and overnight hotels bills.

Now I start my journey to be different ... I'm going to boldly go where most families don't want to go ... to a world where soccer, little league, swimming, dancing, cheer leading ... don't exist.

Christmas Traditions

2009-12-14T03:08:00.003-08:00

I'd been hearing about "The Elf On The Shelf" ... the concept was intriguing. Then I read a post from one of my favorite bloggers http://www.litandlaundry.blogspot.com and I knew I needed to start something similar with my family.

I knew I'd need to tweek the story to fit our family ... I purchased an Elf and my husband and I wrote a story. Sunday morning he rang the door bell and the fun started ...

After reading the letter, the first thing we needed to do was name him ... "Herbie" was decided quickly because Rudolph is currently their favorite movie.

The difference between a 4 year old and a 3 year old? Our 4 year old thinks he is real ... she walked around showing him the dogs and her room, she read books to him ...

The 3 year olds' reactions?
Me to our son ... "Do you want to have a turn with Herbie?"
Son (starts crying) "He's scary ... I don't like him"

Me to our daughter ... "Do you want a turn with Herbie?"
Daughter ... "Yes ... I lovvveee Herpes ..."

That's my girl .....

The Gift That Just Keeps On Giving

2009-12-11T03:01:00.002-08:00

Or maybe I should just realise that no good deed goes unpunished....

Yesterday, I had my usual morning ... up at 4:30 ish, get cup of coffee, empty dishwasher, fold clothes in dryer, put clothes from washer in dryer, put new load in washer, attend to a little paperwork, answer emails from non-morning people who write like crazy at night, get second cup of coffee, read blogs, write a little if time. But this was a school day for the kids ... so I had to make sure breakfast was ready to go ... usually I put warm milk in a cup mixed with Pediasure (my kids are going through this eating thing and they need the extra umph) and I put cereal in a bag for them to munch on ...

But, on this day, I decided that I should make blueberry pancakes ... I was a little tired of giving my kids cereal. I have recently found this great pancake recipe that we all love. I get the batter ready to go ... I even get out the pan ... I know I'm going to have to do this all fast once the kids are up ... I have one hour to get everyone out the door ... fed, dressed, teeth brushed, clean diaper, bladders empty, hair brushed, etc ... adding in time to sit down and eat breakfast is a real challenge ... now I'm off to the shower ...

For some reason I do a lot of clear thinking in the shower ... it occurs to me that today is NOT a school day ... and once I'm dressed I discover there are no blueberries ... my husband sucks down fruit at night at an unbelievable rate ... so I scratch the pancake idea.

Sooooo ... I decide this would be a good morning for eating out ... and I make the mistake of asking the kids where they would like to go ... McDonald's is the choice for two and donuts is the choice for one ... ok ... so we are off to get egg mcmuffins then donuts ...

Once the kids are eating I pop in a DVD and we drive across town to a Drive thru donut place and they have red and green Christmas donuts ... of course this is what we get ... the drive home is quiet with the kids munching contentedly behind me and I'm really enjoying the time to sit and think for the first time that day.

When we get home I notice that there is red and green frosting all over their car seats (these things are such a pain to clean) and all over their faces ... it doesn't wipe off ... their faces are stained ... what the heck is in that frosting? ... and then the aftermath ... and I don't mean the sugar high ...

The next day my daughter runs in to tell me that her poop is red ... OMG ... I run to the bathroom ... her poo is a really weird color red ... I'm wracking my brain ... what is going on? Then it hits me ... that donut ... ewwww ...

But, there's more ... later that day changing the diaper of the last potty training hold out, I discover a bright green poop ... double ewww ...

Dunkin' Donuts is out ... I can't believe I put that garbage in my kids.

Share Your Pet Day

2009-12-08T03:41:00.003-08:00

Yesterday was Share Your Pet Day at school. Here is the best picture we could come up with. 5 wiggly subjects does not equal good photo ... sigh ...

Politics ... Read At Your Own Risk

2009-12-05T03:37:00.007-08:00

I've been reluctant to start this topic. My blog is new and I know it will be mostly about mom topics. Being a mom is who I am ... it is what I always wanted to be. I never had aspirations to be anything else. Many, many women I know ... in fact, all the women I know ... except one ... are quick to talk up their life outside of being a mom ... their job, their interests ... It's the "IN" thing ... being able to tell others you do something more impressive than being a mom. I get the feeling they truly are unfulfilled being a mom. Not so for me ... I love being defined as a mom. When asked about my outside interests ... I always hesitate ... right now my life is all about my kids and managing our family of 5 ... and ... my outside interest is politics.

What exactly would I say? I rarely meet anyone who is interested in an actual debate or exchange of ideas ... and more importantly ... I rarely meet anyone who can hold up their side of the conversation. When asked if I've read any good books lately ... I can usually respond "Yes" but when I say I'm reading a book about the US Constitution or the Federalist Papers ... I get blank stares and not much else.

I have to take a moment here to say that upon writing this down it has occurred to me that anyone looking through my reading materials would be very confused ... I have things on politics, nutrition, and parenting ... maybe I am weird ... I have always suspected it.

Any whoooo, this post was inspired by someone who contacted me recently to ask about the things on my reading list. I think the intent was to be contentious with me for the supposed republican leanings ... but I don't bite easily.

I gave a description of who I am as follows ... I've was a vegan for a lot of my adult life, I recycled before it was popular and in fact my recycling container is always more full than my trash container, I believe that children and retirees should have free access to health care ... but not government controlled health care, I am a complete nut about conservation in any form, I buy organic and locally when possible ... I could go on but won't.

My reading list does heavily lean republican ... but it's because I haven't found a left leaning site that is worth my time. In general, the problem I have with left leaning people is the lack of ability to actually share ideas. They seem to be all about shutting down any opposing opinion. The talk and the feeling coming from the left is "We are the people & party of open discussion ... We accept everyone" their actions speak louder and completely contradict this ... the attempt to shut down Fox News is the latest example(really ... were they trying to draw more viewers to that channel?), along with the complete shut down of competing ideas on health care ... and FYI ... I believe the rush to get this passed has more to do with hoping people forget about it before the next election and then the White House can change their focus to making us believe that they are running the economy effectively.

I know I lean right. I know I'm well informed. I know I'm more educated about our government and our history than most (I once spent several months in a debate with a former poli sci professor and his buddies about the presidential line of succession and what would happen if it was ever challenged ... only to have it actually start to play itself out a year later in the 2000 Presidential Election ... I was really disappointed that it was ended ... my argument was that, if challenged, there is no clear line of succession ... if a new president wasn't clearly elected before the old president was, constitutionally, forced to leave office, we are left without a Commander In Chief).

This is where I've always gone for my own personal passion. I'm not saying these things to start a fight with anyone ... I'm 47 years old ... I have a pretty good handle on my strengths and weaknesses. When I need down time, politics and U.S. history is where I go ... Oh and reality TV (I'm a huge Survivor fan ... let's talk about that instead) and now blogging :) ... But being a mom is the foremost thing that I am right now ... this is what I want to do and be ... it's not popular or glamorous to say it, but I'm at a point in my life where I don't care what people think of me anymore ... it's very liberating :)

Hooray ... Pictures !!!

2009-12-03T03:34:00.001-08:00

We had snow here yesterday !!!

Husband, Friend, Irritant, Procrastinator, Fraidy Cat

2009-12-01T03:01:00.005-08:00

One of my favorite bloggers wrote a funny post today about reconnecting with our husbands. When another blogger also wrote about her husband, I thought I'd join in the fun.

My husband was born and raised in Saudi Arabia. He was shipped off to the USA for boarding school at the age of 14. Several times a year he made his way, solo, back to Arabia and to various relatives homes for holidays. He had a sister and two brothers who also had the same experience. All four of them are kind, well adjusted, well educated, and occasionally real pains to be married to.

He spent 20 years on his own ... doing his own thing ... considering only his needs ... you can see how this is not the best basis for partnership in a marriage.

The first time this came to light was about 10 months after we were married. We had spent the previous 10 months moving 3 times and getting adjusted to married life. One night, just as things were seeming to get to our new normal, I was the first one home ... so naturally I started dinner ... I was putting everything on the table when he walks in with a take-out meal from a local restaurant ... one meal. Now, in his defense, this was the days before cell phones (jeez ... how old am I?) ... but seriously ... just one meal? He failed to see the problem with this ... so we had a "discussion" about working together and sharing.

He has over the years gotten much, much better ... now though he makes lunch for himself on the weekends and forgets that the kids may also need to eat ... he's a work in progress.

So, let me take a moment to highlight some good traits. He often brings me flowers for no reason ... he has even enlisted the kids to pick out flowers for me when they are out shopping. They often come in from outside to give me a "flower" (dandelion) or a gift from a neighbor ... sorry neighbors :). He brings me Starbucks. He will put the kids to bed by himself if I pretend I'm too sick to do it (kidding aside ... he will always do something if I need him to). He is always there for me if I'm having problem. He is, in fact, a great husband and father.

OK ... enough of that pap ...

The reason I'm writing about my husband today is because of the two posts I read this morning ... and the fact that my husband proved to me last night that his sleep may be the most important thing on the planet.

About 11 pm I'm awakened by what I think is a loud noise ... it sounds like our bedroom door being slammed ... it wakes us both up ... then I notice our new dog has snapped alert ... and the noise was loud enough to wake up our almost deaf older dog. My mind is instantly on alert ... I'm sitting up in bed ... and listening to the baby monitor ... (all three kids have decided to sleep in the same room) ... nothing ... now there is total silence ... I get up and go out into the hall to see if one of the kids got up and I didn't hear it on the monitor ... but none of the motion activated lights are on ... so it seems like no one was wandering through the house ... but somehow I think that someone may be in the house ... evading the Fort Knox like alarm system and all the motion lights. Now I have to check every inch of the house ... the children are all fine and sound asleep ... but still I need to check closets, empty rooms, etc.

Finally, I make my way back to our bedroom ... everything seems fine ... but still there was that noise ... I get in bed and realize that my husband is sound asleep ... and that he has just let me check for burglars, invaders, monsters ... all by myself ... whilst he slept ...

What the hell is that about? ... so I wake him up ... me "Wow what a great protector you are ... you make me feel so safe ... just knowing you are by my side ... oh wait ... you were sound asleep ... oh wait ... why was I even out of bed?" ... him "Huh?" ... me "How can you let me check out that noise by myself?" ... him "What was it?" ... me ... louder "What the hell is wrong with you?" ... him ... long pause ... perhaps wondering what indeed is wrong with him ... "It was on the TV" ... me "The TV is not on ... the dogs even noticed the noise" ... him "Did you find anything?" ... me ... after tempering my annoyance .... "You're an idiot" .... him .....

ssssnnnnooooorrrreeee

me? .... sssiiiggghhhh

Our Path To Parenthood ... It Wasn't Cheap, Easy, or Fun

2009-11-30T03:53:00.002-08:00

I've been writing this post for 4 days ... working to get the wording just right. I wanted to complete it and get it posted today. Instead I have just this. I highlighted my post to change the font and somehow it got erased ... and then the stupid "Save Now" feature that auto saves every 2 seconds ... saved the erased version.

This is not the first time this has happened ... I can't figure out how to turn this stupid feature off ... aaaaggghhh ... I'm so pissed off.

Tide Stain Release

2009-11-27T04:20:00.005-08:00

I'm a new blogger. I don't intend to ever put ads on my blog. This, of course, could change ... but I'm different in two ways ... I don't need to make money off my blog ... I do it for pleasure. Second, I don't do the comment love thing ... so the hits on my blog will never be high. I'll only comment on a product I really love or really hate.

(About comments ... I only comment on other blogs because I really love their blog and I am genuinely interested in what they are saying. I love that some people comment on my blog ... but I've had to turn on comment moderation because some people don't get that I'm allowed to express my opinion here ... all I can say to that is ... HAVE A POINT TO YOUR OPINION, EXPRESS IT AND LETS HAVE A DISCUSSION ... STOP BEING HATEFUL.)

Anyway, on to my title. My MIL sent me some fleece lined jackets for the kids and the retailer sent a sample of Tide Stain Release with the jackets. I never use Tide products ... they are way too smelly for this family that uses only perfume free soap ... but I hesitated to toss them when I read what they are supposed to do ... with 3 very young kids we have major pre-treating going on in our house ... it's very time consuming. So I thought I'd give it a try. I put a load of medium colors in the washer without treating anything ... I thought "lets see what comes out clean" ...

EVERY single stain came out!!!! I double checked everything before throwing them into the dryer. Could this be? I bought a large bag of the pillows to give them a more thorough test run.

After using the entire 34 count bag, here is my assessment: This stuff is amazing ... I never pre-treat now (occasionally something has to be treated and rewashed, but it's maybe one thing per laundry cycle). And I discovered that if you put your dingy whites in on a "soak" cycle they return to their amazing whiteness. I laundered a pair of white underwear with the darks by mistake ... I threw them in with the next white load and the underwear returned to pure white.

The tide website even has a $1.50 off coupon.

What Is That On The Carpet?

2009-11-18T03:33:00.008-08:00

Beware of the carpet in your new house (unless of course it's a brand spanking new house).

We recently sold our home in California. The carpet was clean (or as clean as the steam cleaning people could get it) but it was still really disgusting. There was no getting around what had gone on (and in) it.

We hadn't told the builder to put that horrible brown carpet in every inch of the house because we thought we would be walking on it 5 years later ... we were determined to get it replaced in the first year ... we are accomplished home improvement people ... but we couldn't come to an agreement on WHAT to put in its' place. I wanted wood ... husband wanted cold, hard, echo inducing, hard to clean tile.

In the interim, the dogs (and us) tromped through mud, sand, grass, etc. and brought it all in the house. The dogs had the occasional vomit episodes ... and there was that awesome saltwater aquarium leak ...

Once the kids came (especially after the twins) the stuff spilled on the carpet included (among a lot of other things) a gallon of white paint and one entire bottle of breast milk ... we never got that smell out ... I discovered that if you break out the lemon oil and slather it all over the wood furniture everyone who comes in thinks that the nice fresh smell is because you are so diligent about your wood furniture ... not that you are masking nasty odors ... cookies in the oven to hide smells is for amateurs.

Anyway, one incident stands out in my mind as the last straw in the history of the disgusting carpet ...

Our twins were about 7 months old and oldest daughter was 22 months ... husband (like normal) was gone from the house from 5:30 am until 7 pm ... I didn't have any help and I was crazy sleep deprived. One morning I was walking out of the master bedroom closet and noticed something on the floor ... it was long and brown and looked like a giant turd ... my addled brain was racing ... what was that? OMG ... someone had pooped on the floor... my husband was at work ... but wait, he doesn't poop on the carpet ... I knew I hadn't done it ... mine was still knocking at the back door ... I hadn't had time to do my business yet ... and wait ... I don't poop on the floor either. The dogs poop had never looked like that ... and besides they don't poop on the carpet either ... what was it??? Then I notice that my 22 month old daughter is walking toward me with no diaper on ... I was changing her diaper and discovered I needed more diapers ... I got up to get a new one and forgot ... leaving her roaming in the bedroom sans diaper ... but could this huge turd be from her .... "What is that?" I ask her ... she says "poo poo" ... "Yours?" I ask ... the laughing and dancing is my proof that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I hope the new home owners' replaced the carpet before they moved in.

I Can't Sleep

2009-11-14T01:18:00.002-08:00

It's 3 am and I'm at my computer. I woke up ... startled by something ... I lay in bed listening intently ... my kids still have monitors in their rooms and I don't see that ending anytime soon. My husband is laboring to breathe around the remnants of a cold ... he is snuffling, snorting, and breathing so loudly that I can't determine if someone needs me. Like most mom's .. I can't go back to sleep until I check on everyone, so off I go.

In my house you can't just go upstairs to quietly check on kids ... we have two dogs. Both need to pee ... I need to pee (note to self: stop drinking large cup of hot tea before bed). I do my business, shut off alarm system, take out dogs, reactivate alarm, start my trek upstairs, climb over baby gate (in place because new puppy thinks upstairs is his personal indoor toilet), finally get to first kids room ... he is sleeping soundly ... but I have to stop and look for a moment ... he is so cute cuddling his gorilla and his Pooh. Finally, off to the girls' room (they decided about a month ago to sleep in the same room) ... and here is the source of the noise ... youngest daughter has fallen out of bed and is sound asleep on the floor ... luckily she is sleeping on a mattress on the floor because this is her sisters room. I put her back in bed and I discover that her older sister is about to fall out of her bed. I put her back in place under her blanket.

Now ... it's 1:45am ... I've been awake for about 20 minutes and done about 20 minutes of walking, lifting ... thinking. I lay back down in my bed ... I'm wide awake ... husband is still being noisy ... and now my mind is racing.

There is just so much work to be done and I'm thinking about it all.

But what I really need besides sleep is some alone time. So, here I am blogging at 3 am.

I'm having coffee and listening to the baby monitors ... I can hear them breathing ... I love my kids so much. I can hear my poor husband breathing from down the hall ... I love him, too.

I hope I get a nap today.

Why Can't I Do It All?

2009-11-13T03:32:00.007-08:00

I am a mother to 3 kids who are very close in age. I am committed to raising them. I don't want outside help.

I didn't want a nanny, night nurse, or daycare. I wanted to do this ... this was my choice.

I'm a Type A personality and extremely organized.

So, here is the problem...

I can't do it all ...

I've been told ... repeatedly ... to just "let it go" but my brain won't let me. Even after all this time trying to get it all done ... I have a hard time admitting that it just can't be done.

When my twins were about 15 months old, I had the opportunity to see an Internist that is at the top of his profession for Thyroid Disease. My fatigue (not just my family history) propelled me to seek him out. His ultimate evaluation ... "You have what you think you have ... but your real problem is that you think you can do it all?". Once I was over the shock of hearing him say that, he explained "...all you women think you have some super human powers ... but you don't ... you all think that the other mom's are doing it all ... but they aren't ... you just think they are because that's what they want you to think..." and the lecture went on in this vein until I interrupted with, "Who is going to wipe these three butts, and clean all the laundry, feed the dogs, cook the meals, shop for the food, change the linens on the beds, do the dishes..." and I proceeded to go on and on ... until he interrupted with "You've just proven my point ... no one human being can do all that. Stop trying to convince yourself that you can. You're life will not be like this forever ... just a short time. And in the mean time you are going to miss so much of the precious moments with your child."

I think in that moment I was finally able to let go ... not completely ... but enough to realize he was exactly right. I was already feeling like I had missed so much.

So now I'm able to let go a little ... not completely ... but enough. I sleep better and the family is definitely better for it.

That Smile ... It's Fake

2009-11-12T03:34:00.006-08:00

One of my pet peeves in life is people (women ... I've never seen this in a man) who smile too much. They can be standing there telling you just about anything and there's that smile. I suspect that inside they are saying/thinking something totally different. I recently tried to describe this to my sister and the only thing I could come up with is the Stepford Wives.

Who ever made that movie lived where I have resided for the past two years.

I am a California Native. Born and raised. One thing I can say about people there ... they are honest. You may not like what they have to say but they don't smile and tell you how wonderful something is, when it really sucks.

I had quite a few people tell me before we moved how much I was going to love the people here. In fact the group of guys who packed and loaded our stuff were the most adamant ... they raved about how wonderful people from the south were, over a catered dinner we had purchased for them ... then one of them stole my $500 camera with all the memory photos I'd taken over the last two weeks.

You can have the %&*%%$# camera ... just give me back my memory stick.

I'm not sure what this phenomenon is but I don't like it.

Relax About Baby Einstein

2009-11-08T03:39:00.005-08:00

Seriously, are we really putting our kids in front of these DVDs to educate them? Is that the responsibility of a cartoon?
Not in my house.

I love these. I have most of the original ones that were made. My kids are now 4, 3, and 3 and they still enjoy them. They see toys that we own, they sing the songs, they call out the words before they are said, and most of all they have fun watching them.

I never put them on and wonder about a message they are sending to their impressionable little minds.

Like most SAHM's, I don't often use the TV as a babysitter ... but I have to sometimes. Regardless of what you idiots think who have never spent an entire day alone with your kids, there are times when I need to make a phone call without the presence of little ones. When children are young, they need assistance from a parent to read, do craft projects, draw, color, playing with toys, etc. Being self sufficient is a learned skill that requires a parent to be present ... not hovering but able to provide assistance and guidance when asked.

But all you people, who "work" and pawn your parenting responsibilities off on daycare providers, wouldn't know this (this last sentence will be the subject of a post another day).

These videos are harmless. It's the parents who sit their children in front of the TV for hours on end who are harming their children (and those who are choosing to "work" over parenting). But my guess is that these same people are doing other things that are just as harmful to their child's long term success.

TV is an easy target. Let parents be parents and stop trying to put us all on guilt trips.

TV is not causing children to preform poorly ... bad parenting is. It's like saying that video games are causing obesity. If sedentary activities are causing obesity, why then are we promoting reading?

What Not to Wear ... The MoM Version

2009-11-06T03:25:00.008-08:00

Can I say how stupid this show is? I am always sucked in to these make over shows. Mostly because I'm missing part of my female DNA. I never know the proper thing to wear. I can barely apply makeup ... to prove my point here I'll tell you what makeup I own ... two tubes of mascara (usually it's one ... but I was curious about the one that curls your lashes ... I wanted to see if it would curl my lashes in to my eyes or up ... how does it know which way to curl?), four different color eye shadows (they are several years old and mostly untouched), two eyeliner pencils (both are used to draw on eyebrows when I wait too long to get them dyed ... once I get them dyed I look like Groucho Marx for a couple of weeks until they fade a bit ... I'm sure the girl who does this for me hopes I never tell anyone who she is ), and a tube of mineral makeup powder with a brush that has never been used.

But I digress ...

After watching this show for awhile and thinking that I would love to have a make over, I realized that these people are stupid. Neither one of them has children and I'm pretty sure neither is married.

There is no way I could ever wear a pair of nice shoes around the house ... after about 10 minutes they would have some substance on them or the dog would have ripped them from my feet for chew toys.

Nice shirts? ... oh come on now ... lets see if I can recount the things that are on my shirts these days ... during cold and flu season that smear on my shoulder is probably from a snotty nose ... of course now that the kids are older the smear is more likely to be around the hem as they have taken to using my shirt as a kleenex.

When the kids were babies my shirts were covered in breast milk and spit up.

Everyone said there would be a lot of laundry ... but I thought they meant for baby clothes ... I didn't realize that most of it would be mine.

I considered myself a slave to fashion when I resorted to buying two of every shirt (t-shirts mind you ... although I was good about making sure I had a good assortment of colors). If I had to leave the house, I put on the clean shirt. I felt proud of myself for figuring that out.

There is no way on earth that I can, even now, wear nice clothes on a day to day basis.

I challenge those two idiots to try to deal with a MoM's real world.

Seriously, who wears a matching jacket and makeup to wipe butts and noses all day?

A Chapter In Potty Training B/G Twins And A Puppy

2009-10-31T03:57:00.000-07:00

The twins turned 3 in October. We got a 7 month old puppy (via my sister)in late September ... he is not potty trained (or house broken ... whatever ... I called the Pediatrician the Vet for the first two years ... I'm old ... these habits are hard to break).

I think the dog will be easier then the kids. We've been working with the kids for months. One lives in the land of "No" ... everything right now is "no" (and yuck ... but that's for another post). So the other one sees this and follows with a no of her own. We've tried little potties, seats on the big potty, targets in the toilet, rewards, charts, books, and lots of other ideas. He is just not interested. So day after day I search for ways to get him interested ... until yesterday ...

While changing his diaper we were having, yet again, a conversation about being a big boy. Afterwards, he seemed to be taking this one to heart he was paying attention ... so I upped the ante ...

Me: "What is Santa Claus going to say when you
see him and he discovers you are still in
diapers?"

B: (deep in thought for a moment then says ...)
"He's going to say, "Hello poopy boy"

At which point everyone laughed.

Seriously ... how do you get around that? There are moments when you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Very Different Families

2009-10-23T03:20:00.006-07:00

My husband and I have very different families.

My parents were divorced when I was 4. My father remarried about 18 months later and is still married to my stepmother. They celebrated 40 years together this past February.

My mom is crazy (and I mean that in a good way). She loves anything exciting. She ice skated professionally and travelled the world with Holiday On Ice before she married my dad and had us 5 kids. She has continued living her life (mostly single) travelling the world, flipping houses, and embarking on many adventures. I love my mother and her craziness.

I went to live with my dad when I was 8. My stepmother had a large impact on my life. I love her like she is my mother.

I used to hate feeling emotionally pulled between two mothers ... now as an adult, I think it's great to have two mom's that offer me two very different things.

I love my dad without question. I never wonder if he loves me.

My husband was born and raised in Saudi Arabia. His parents went to live there shortly after they were married and returned to the United States after raising 4 kids and spending 35 years there. They have been married for 53 years. They are like parents to me. I love them and will always be grateful they are a part of my life and that they welcome me as part of their family.

All of my family members have ... shall we say ... an "offbeat" sense of humor. My husband's family ... well ... they are a tad more sedate.

Here are two examples that show the difference between the two families.

My husband shows me a news snippet from the morning paper that reads something like this, "... Yesterday at a crowded local Mall, an escalator malfunctioned and flattened out sending a crowd of shoppers tumbling to the bottom." Well, I just about busted a gut laughing ... I started laughing at "flattened out". My husband said "It's not THAT funny ... people could have been hurt", but clearly he showed that to me because it was funny. (This was years ago and I'm still laughing as I'm writing this).

To prove to him that it was funny I called my siblings and each one thought it was equally hilarious. I called his side of the family and I got "... oh my goodness, I hope no one was hurt."

Example number two, my MIL emailed me a recipe for meatloaf she thought the kids would love (should I mention here that she is the most genuinely nice person I've ever met? ). Anyway, the recipe called for 1 cup of white wine. I immediately drafted a response to her that said, "I don't know much about cooking with wine ... is it okay for the kids or should I just make this dish on the days I want the kids in bed early?" I of course thought this was hilarious ... but having lived in this family for 16 years I hesitated to hit the send button. I called my stepmother to get a reality check about whether I should send it. She thought it was really funny and that I should send it ... I still wasn't sure. So I finally bet her that I would get a very serious response back. My mom thought it was so clearly funny that it would make my MIL laugh. This is the response I got, "Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Maybe you could replace the wine with milk."

I rest my case.

What Is This Blog All About?

2009-10-21T03:13:00.005-07:00

I have wanted to write for along time ... years ... maybe decades. This is really odd for someone who hated creative writing in school. When a teacher would start talking about using your "imagination" to write about something, my mind would just shut down. But I've always wanted to write. I create funny stories in my head when I go to sleep at night (well ... funny to me) that cause me to laugh in my sleep. This drives my husband crazy ... long ago he would wake me up to ask me what I was laughing about ... now he knows I'm crazy and that I think the weirdest things are funny and he doesn't bother to ask most of the time these days.

When I started to read blogs created by other mom's, back in December 2008, I thought this would be a great way to document things for my kids.

Now ... I'm not so sure.

After months of reading blogs, figuring out the ones I wanted to continue reading and the ones that weren't worth my time, I started this blog in June 2009.

But, in thinking about content for this blog, I've discovered something about myself ... I'm not a helicopter parent. My kids will honestly probably never read this and I really don't have a need to document every moment of their lives.

So, I've decided that this blog will be about my life. My interests. It will have a lot of mom things because my life is mostly about kids these days ... but it will also include politics (gird yourselves), infertility, many grammar and punctuation errors, and any random topics.

Family of 5

2009-10-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

A recent post at hdydi.com talked about one baby envy ... as much as anyone who has multiples hates to admit to this ... I think we all have envy in some form of what we perceive someone elses situation to be. For me ... I have two baby envy. To all the other moms with twins only (and no other children) sorry ... but some days I wish I had it so easy. You get to work man to man. The world seems to be organized for pairs ... add in that third and suddenly things seem different ... walking through the mall you have a hand for each child ... reading at night, mom gets one and dad gets one (or one kid under each arm)... bunk beds ... most cars seat two across ... not three ... which kid has to sit in a row by themselves? Most tables seat 4 or 6 or 8 ... so, not enough chairs or always one too many.

Now having said that, I wouldn't actually change anything ... you see ... I think my family is the perfect size ... 5.

Growing up I thought I only ever wanted to have boys. I was always a tomboy. I rode horses, milked cows, cared for chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, birds, goats, and ... well you get my drift ... I grew up on a working Quarter Horse ranch. I had a real aversion to dresses, makeup, and anything overly girlie. What would I do with a girl?

Then 20 weeks in to my first pregnancy we found out we were having a girl. I tried to act okay about it but I was in fact disappointed ... D knew how I felt and I'm sure was watching to see what my reaction would be ... I was pretty sure he wanted a girl. After 11 years together and our struggle to get pregnant, you'd think I would be just happy and nothing else ... well to put it bluntly, I think it is moronic to think you can only feel one way about a situation.

After the ultrasound, D returned to work and I sat in my car, in the parking lot, thinking about life with a daughter ... would I be a total failure? I know nothing about fashion, makeup, girl friends ... I was never interested ... it shows in how I dress and present myself to the world each day ... I'm clean, unwrinkled, and presentable, but my wardrobe of pants or shorts and t-shirts shows the world my lack of concern for my appearance ... oh and the girlfriends ... well I'm not so good there either. I have had 3 sisters my whole life and two moms ... I have never been a person who needs a lot of people around me ... I like being by myself ... when I feel the need for conversation or interaction I have my husband, my brother, and 5 women in my life ... someone always seems to be available. But in my heart I know that I'm horrible at making friends ... how will I teach my daughter about friendships? How to establish and nurture them?

After about 5 minutes in the car with my mind racing, I felt sudden peace ... it was overwhelming ... I knew having a girl was right for me. I can't explain it ... but I put my hand on my belly and said out loud ... "Thank you God". In that moment I knew I had a lot to offer ... maybe not the typical girl things, but things I know I do well. I'm in to politics in a big way ... I'm honest ... practical ... I love math ... I'm a huge advocate for women ... I hate that a lot of younger women today think that dressing like sluts will get them respect from men and in the workplace (the women's libbers must hate that such a huge step has been taken back). I knew I could do this ...

Fast forward ... I am pregnant again. Five days after the embryo transfer of two that made the defrosting process, I decided to take a pregnancy test ... just because ... the positive sign appeared instantly ... it was a test where you pee in a cup them dip the stick in ... the stick had barely touched the urine when the positive sign was revealed ... I called D to let him know. Later that day ... D said "What if it's twins?" ... I was so floored by that ... it had not occurred to me for one moment that I could be having twins ... why? you ask ... well with the first pregnancy two embryos were transferred and we had one baby ... so it only stood to reason ... we would have one again. At day 10, off to the doctor I went for the blood test. I had told the tech about taking the blood test and she laughed ... when I asked her if it meant I was having twins she just smiled and said "I'll call you with the results". She herself was 5 months pregnant with twins through IVF from this doctor.

During my almost hour long drive home my mind was racing ... twins, twins, twins ... my 6 month old was contentedly taking her morning nap in the car seat behind me having no idea how her life was to change.

With the IVF process there are not a lot of surprises ... but for me that's great ... I'm not the surprise type. The call came within minutes of my return home ... I'm trying to remember the exact numbers ... a normal pregnancy reading is about 140ish mine was over 300 ... I of course said does this elevated reading mean twins? ... they said come back for another test day after tomorrow ... if it's twins they will see that number double ... sure enough the number was more than double. All three of us showed up for the ultrasound the next day ... as soon as the image showed on the screen I saw two ...

For someone who always wanted a large family, this seemed like the way to get it done.

This all happened in the only way that it could for us ... had we had twins first ... there would not have been a third child ... we would have most likely stopped with just two ... and what shame that would have been.

Now came the angst of boys vs girls. The morning sickness came on strong and immediately ... and so did the cravings. With the first ... it was watermelon ... thank goodness for Raley's for stocking watermelon in the Winter ... I was eating about a 1/4 of one per day ... with the twins it was prime rib and corn. The twin cravings were just red meat up until the unfortunate heaving my guts out in the line at In-n-Out ... I had not thrown up at all in my first pregnancy and it was unexpected in this one ... there I was trapped ... 3 cars ahead of me and at least 3 behind me ... the odor of cooked hamburger invaded the car and I was gone ... thankfully I had the fore site to plan for the event (I had read the Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy and they had suggested having a towel ready just in case the urge came while in the car). Unfortunately, a towel is not the best choice ... ever try to get massive amounts of vomit out of a towel ... me neither ... I just threw it away. By the time I got to the window, I was a mess ... I'm sure I smelled lovely ... I had vomit on my shirt, hands, face ... i was madly trying to wipe it all off ... but I was being beeped at to move ahead in the line ... I was holding up a line of hungry people ... do I need to even explain the look on that poor kids face who took my money?

(The hardest part about writing ... staying on point)

Because of the cravings for meat, everyone kept telling me I was having two boys ... sigh ... now I wanted a girl. I loved my daughter and because of my relationship with my sisters, I dearly wanted her to have a sister ... now I was convinced I was having two boys.

But we were being smiled upon ... one boy, one girl.

Even though, the odd number in our family has presented some challenges along the way, the family dynamic is perfect. The two girls have their relationship, the twins have a different relationship, first daughter and son have a connection too because they are so much alike in personality. The dynamic is perfect.

Lastly, I think D really enjoys having a son. As much as I think he was as lost about what to do with a son as I was with a daughter, the two of them have a real connection. I love it when he says, "...no...daddy only". Mostly because it relieves me of some of the work :)).

Just Getting Started

2009-06-20T12:11:00.001-07:00

This is my first post. Today I started this blog for my kids...it may turn in to something more but for now I want to record some of the interesting and funny things that go along with being an older, first time mom (and by older I don't mean 35...by older I mean I will be 49 when my oldest starts Kindergarten).

Don't critize my spelling or punctuation or grammer...I'm not an english major and I have only short periods of time to write...these will not be on my priority list. My purpose is to get this in writing so that my kids will know the unique challenges their dad and I faced as older parents...and how much fun we had.

Things that I'd like to write about in future posts include the IVF process, the multi-years of marriage prior to their birth, PJ and Quincy, the bird years, the first time I was called grandma, the first time I was called mom, taking a pregnancy test, having twins ... these are in no order just writing them as I'm thinking.